Nick

💚😻🙏🏽🔮👳🏻👽

[Jordan Adams @JordanKAdams97]

My nephews Ethan’s pre-k class made a cook book, and all the kids had to come up with all the recipes😂😂 so much better than I could’ve imagined.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

the true genius of classical pavlovian conditioning is that every time i hear “pavlov” i automatically think of a dog

[hexagon alice @zandapheri]

the pee tape is real but in it trump is visibly alarmed and put off and you realize he had been expecting some ordinary non-sexual meeting (he respects women, you see) and just didn't know what "golden shower" meant and was assuming it was some Scrooge McDuck thing w/ actual gold

[Dread Singles @hottestsingles]

You have $10 dollars to build the perfect man from the following options:

1. Keep the money don’t need one
2. Keep the money don’t need one
3. Keep the money don’t need one
4. Keep the money don’t need one
5. Keep the money don’t need one

[Nick @nickmattos2]

@erinnnnnf @hello__caitlin "Please pay off that house and leave it to me free & clear when you die, old uncle"

[🏳️‍🌈 Andrew D. Jankowski 🏳️‍🌈 @AndrewJank]

THIS https://t.co/xyV5xdA08d

[everyadage @everyadage]

prophecy and butter arise from an unmelodious and dense place

[CNN @CNN]

An Australian river turtle with a distinctive green punk-rock hairstyle, two spikes under its chin and the ability to breathe through its genitals is on a new list of endangered reptiles https://t.co/QQGDsm2pID

[Philip J. Ellis (he/him) @Philip_Ellis]

A full night’s sleep? In this economy?

[Nick @nickmattos2]

@VanessaCarlton @AndrewJank @billboard Omg I love it

[ghost things @ghost_things]

ghost child

[hexagon alice @zandapheri]

Hoarders of the world unite! you have nothing to lose but your chains. though, idk, what if at some point you end up needing those chains for something really important. bet you'd feel pretty silly having gotten rid of them then . probably best to keep them forever just in case

[🏳️‍🌈 Andrew D. Jankowski 🏳️‍🌈 @AndrewJank]

awkward how this isn't explicitly about Portland yet totally related https://t.co/KhiOE7dgWP

[🏳️‍🌈 Andrew D. Jankowski 🏳️‍🌈 @AndrewJank]

trying to remain calm after @VanessaCarlton announced her Covers series as though life will ever be the same again

[🏳️‍🌈 Andrew D. Jankowski 🏳️‍🌈 @AndrewJank]

remember to discuss your dreams with people who see / understand / cherish you

[Christian Nightmares @ChristnNitemare]

If you send your social security number it could definitely change your life!

[Whores of Yore @WhoresofYore]

“What are we to think about witches who shut up penises in what are sometimes prolific numbers, 20 or 30 at a single time, in a bird’s nest or some kind of box, where they move about in order to eat oats and fodder, as though they were alive?”

‘Malleus Maleficarum’ (1487)

[🏳️‍🌈 Andrew D. Jankowski 🏳️‍🌈 @AndrewJank]

well, did YOU have @TheCarlaRossi cluck that clussy in your face 2nite? #OpulentLakeOswegoArtMoms