Nina

[Nina @ninacallender]

If the first time you met me, I was mean, then it was probably my sister

[Nina @ninacallender]

The silliest thing about having my moms location is everytime I see she’s at a hospital I have to call and ask if she’s working or if she’s a patient and the answers about 50/50

[Nina @ninacallender]

Supposed to have my annual review with my boss this week and I just wanna know, when do I get to review him back?

[Nina @ninacallender]

All I know is the one and only time I lied to the police it actually worked out very well 🤷‍♀️

[Nina @ninacallender]

Deeply disappointed to admit that the owner of my local vape shop is quickly becoming one of the most cherished friendships in my life currently

[Nina @ninacallender]

All I’m saying is “haboob” is the silliest little name for one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever experienced

[Nina @ninacallender]

Went to take my trash out and there was a man shitting by the dumpster. Love my apartment 🥰

[Nina @ninacallender]

No, my cars not broken. It just needs a gallon of coolant every twelve hours and everything’s fine.

[Nina @ninacallender]

Lorde hinting at a new album just as I’m preparing to have my heart broken is a sign from the universe

[Nina @ninacallender]

I spend more time on the phone with my boss than literally any other person I’ve ever talked to combined

[Nina @ninacallender]

Not the consequences of my actions catching up with me on Christmas Day I’m gonna be sick

[Nina @ninacallender]

Sometimes my job is actually okay because like today it’s 10 am on a Monday and the only thing I’ve consumed is Starbucks and tequila

[Nina @ninacallender]

My boss taking the fall for all my mistakes recently is the only reason I didn’t snitch on his ass when HR called me asking a whole bunch of suspicious questions last week

[Nina @ninacallender]

Ghosted after 10 months is insane work actually

[Nina @ninacallender]

Happy 7 year anniversary to the night I invited three different guys over to be my date to my apartments game night and all three showed up and and they were the only people there besides my roommates

[Nina @ninacallender]

Love when my boss makes me interview applicants just so he can hire them after I explicitly recommend we not

[Nina @ninacallender]

Men love to wake you up at 8am on a Thursday with a text message that will make you want to end them in their sleep

[Nina @ninacallender]

Never really felt the age gap between my work bestie and I until she offered to set me up with her son

[Nina @ninacallender]

I’m sorry for all the drama I created while I thought I was getting ghosted. He was actually just busy for a few days.

[Nina @ninacallender]

One thing about me is I’m always going to put my phone on do not disturb before I hand it to someone bc you never know when a notification can come in

[Nina @ninacallender]

Was wondering why my mom’s computer kept glitching while I was watching Netflix. Turns out she has a language filter on her computer that mutes it anytime someone says a bad word