I am begging the internet to stop showing me "5-to-9 morning routines" where someone drinks structured water, journals for an hour, and ice plunges before sunrise.
My morning routine is hitting snooze until the fear of homelessness physically drags me out of bed. That’s it. That’s the routine.
[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you, [looking at myself] it's over.
the whales will not be watching the new hbo harry potter show. you might think this is because very few whales watch any television at all, but it is actually because jk rowling is a terf ass bitch