Today my mom informed me that I was conceived during the monotony of the Nixon impeachment hearings.
I’ve spent the day researching and confirming the math, while trying not to throw up in my mouth.
I think a couple of hornets are building a nest behind my driver’s side mirror. I’m allowing it for now, as I consider it a carbon offset for my fossil fuel use.
You know that movie Freaky Friday, where the mom and daughter switch places? You know what I think would be the hardest to get used to in that situation? The other person’s teeth.
So HBO is coming out with an adaptation of Fahrenheit 451. My guess is that rather than burning books, the police will be raiding people’s houses and forcing them to remove the Kindle app from all their devices.
Alexa keeps losing a connection to the internet as I try to listen to Pearl Jam. I’d have better chance of hearing Pearl Jam through Ticketmaster than on Alexa.
. @realDonaldTrump loves making cute nicknames for people. The way things are shaping up, it might not be long till we’re calling him Donald Jailbird Trump.