Giant River Otter

Plant Daddy. Cat Daddy. Papaw to all. My tweets are my own, never reflecting my employers

[Giant River Otter @NonroboDrake]

At the core of every human is a desire to have fun and not worry. Pure unbridled joy is what makes humanity beautiful. Any way this can be captured is innately beautiful in respect to the world we truly desire. In this TED talk I will explain how Jackass is one of the best movi

[Cyberpunk: Edgerunners @edgerunners]

New crew. New story. Same Night City.

Get ready to jack back in. Cyberpunk: Edgerunners 2 is coming Fall, 2026.

[q-type @qtypee]

jetpack joyride porn has ruined my life.

[tyler seguin’s burner account @strangesoups]

in the US, about 95% of men identify as straight. so 5% are not straight. there are ~2,400 active players in the big 4. basic math says there should be ~120 non-straight players then. and yet there are 0 OPENLY gay/bi players. maybe pride is a little more necessary than you think

[realyoloswagged @realyoloswagged]

Yo mama so fat *pulls out loaded revolver* she made me do this *points barrel at the roof of my mouth*

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

Saying bazinga as i blow my legs off with a pipe bomb in my garage

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

My pet gorilla killed those people
not me

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

walking around my house like a minecraft skeleton

[gex @severalbird]

beating my girlfriend because walmart changed their layout and im scared and confused

[ProbablyApril ✨ @oh_itsapriltoo]

Meta glasses VOD from the chef aboard the Hantavirus-infected cruise ship

[vost @foolibuster]

mindfulness

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Aliens bodies are probably different as hell. Or similar

[🌺 caulk🌺 @tenthousund]

dying from SIDS at 33

[zayok @zayok6]

Deadass how life been feeling lately

[🌺 caulk🌺 @tenthousund]

telling the mailman to stay the fuck away from my family

[Positivity Central @chasedbywasps]

jimmy neutron was based on a real boy from my church

[Jeff Ihaza @jeffihaza]

this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life

[lissy @rylandsgrace]

“grace look loney. rocky fix. statement.”

[Ben Carlson @awealthofcs]

Project Hail Mary is the kind of movie that reminds you why you love going to the movies

[koreanoli @koreanoli]

"186.3 years"
"You've been together a long time"
"It's not enough"