NON-WORKINGMONKEY

I put the fun in ‘funicular’.

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

Can’t believe @ChrisMasonBBC is still up - strong urge to run him a hot bath, give him shepherd’s pie and peas and put him to bed with the leccy blanket on a low medium

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

I haven't posted on here for ages but I am RUSHING here I tell you, rushing, to observe that Loreen must spend 80% of her waking hours doing reformer Pilates #Loreen #reformerpilates #Eurovision2024

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

I've just noticed how disgustingly meaty Jack's top lip is #MAFSAU

[Michael Stipe @stipemichael_]

Thats me in the corner

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

They’re opening the workhouses

[The Observer Food @ObsFood]

Catalan-style beans, green eggs, rhubarb pudding: Rosie Sykes’s essential store-cupboard recipes https://t.co/bN0XCD1DmK

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

Been investigating how much my autograph is worth.

[James Topham @JamesTophamWord]

or the spiders have learned to use the printer

[Peter Crouch @petercrouch]

We were on a family holiday pls respect our privacy at this time

[🏴‍☠️ Bob Lawrence 🟦Obama #1🟧 @TrumpluvsObama]

And this is why we can't let parents dictate our school's curriculum.🧐😠

[Phil Fletcher @Phil_Gluvets]

An innocent reunion with @LaurenLayfield #normalmen

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

@JWHallBaritone @BBCSingers @ehcwp I'm 100% in favour of this.

[Amy Charlotte Kean @keano81]

This is totally, definitely, 100% how consumers feel about your “brand purpose”

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

Re. Fireworks. What’s more important: all the miserable animals or 30 mins of going “oooh” and “aaah”?

[Seamus Heaney @HeaneyDaily]

So hope for a great sea-change
On the far side of revenge.
Believe that further shore
Is reachable from here.

[NON-WORKINGMONKEY @Nonworkingmonke]

Nicknames that I have (that I know about):
Flaggy
Puss
Bingbong
Bingles
Mrs Bingbong
General Bits
Bits
Monkey

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Oh to be a fat monkey eating mangoes by the stream

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The top 3 worst words:

1. Holibobs
2. Crimbo
3. Hubby

[ADWEAK @adweak]

BREAKING: Shopper Looking For Pasta Sauce That Has Brand Narrative