norris_buffalo

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

Assuming that multidirectional time travel is possible, we're always closer to a time when time travel is possible than to a time when time travel is not possible.

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

If you've never buried anything as large as a horse your worst days are ahead of you

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@SharkWeek And so begins the worst week of every year. How do you consistently screw this up? You have the oceans, boats, scuba gear, scientists, robot subs, and sharks! WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS REALITY TV FAKE ASS CRAP???

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

I was trying to explain to my dog why some of the people I like also like @realDonaldTrump I ended up with "you eat lots of things you think are yummy and some of those things are turds"

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

The older I get the more Mad Max looks like my past that my future....so sad...I wanted to run barter town

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@KaytlinBailey Not to be trite but the other murdered half doesn't seem to be clearly defined. Saying that most people are killed by someone who knows them is just saying people are people.

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

I have just returned from the future. Did you know our children become bitter, insecure old people who don't understand why the world isn't good enough now that they're done contributing to it? It boggles the mind.

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@HyperMudflap @AlisonRosen Grandpa, is that you?

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@HyperMudflap @AlisonRosen I evict them while wearing welding gloves but only on mondays

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@KaytlinBailey How many years have to go by before you rethink what makes people like you?

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@KaytlinBailey When your in your 60s you do it but with FOX news

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

There are no good cats. Like cars and sex partners there are only the ones you have now.

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@becagrimm Alien

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@HyperMudflap You're doing then internet wrong. You're supposed to either be for or against Trump. Stop wasting tweets.

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@martyrmade @DBolelli Finally!

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

@kwilli1046 My hair is the least of what I've sacrificed for my daughter. She just completed 4 years of college in an honors program with a brain tumor. Your daughter can be whatever she wants to be as long as someone loves her and she never stops trying

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

Well, there's that

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

Sure enough

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

Did you know the phrase "grab your sack and let's go" means different things to different people?

[norris_buffalo @norris_buffalo]

#tobefair happy men all seem stupid to me. At least angry people look like they're thinking