Samantha

Digital Publicist @vaynertalent
yoga. celery juice. monologues about my day & champagne.
*not in order of importance.

[Samantha @not_samjones]

@137pm LOVE LOVE LOVE

[Samantha @not_samjones]

i wish i had $1 for every time i said to myself, “it’s ok, you’ll never see them again” & then proceeded to see them…
again🙃

[Samantha @not_samjones]

& I’m like why spend $ on therapy when you can spend $ on 17 cocktails and complain to your friends between bites of burrata ???

[Samantha @not_samjones]

@davidrocknyc cry-laughing and/or cry-sobbing

[Samantha @not_samjones]

find me a worse dating app bio than “Finance by day, DJ by night”… i’ll chill 🥲

[Samantha @not_samjones]

idk who needs to hear this but if you’re a guy posting a picture where YOU look good on vday, u did not understand the assignment??

[Samantha @not_samjones]

does anyone else feel like they’re committing a crime when eating grapes in super close proximity to their dog or

[Samantha @not_samjones]

@hannaxpark “Hanna Park put her bread in the fridge. So then like, the next day, I put my bread in the fridge…”

[Samantha @not_samjones]

ya know that feeling when you tell a joke and no one lol’s and you literally hear it fall on the floor like everyone looks down

[Samantha @not_samjones]

@davidrocknyc good people <333

[Samantha @not_samjones]

absolutely need to debrief sex & the city reboot right now u know where to find me S O S

[Samantha @not_samjones]

Who’s going to tell every man on @hinge that they’re not the only 5’9, deep house enthusiast who “can’t sleep without the AC blasting” BC IT SURE WON’T BE ME 💅

[Samantha @not_samjones]

What is the hardest food to gracefully eat in public and why is it arugula

[Samantha @not_samjones]

The #awkwardmoments file cabinet is really piling up today.

POV: spelling and grammar ONLY count when you’re sending a flirtatious text. Nothing worse than “are you fgee this weekend ?”

Nothing 🙃

[Samantha @not_samjones]

Filing this under “Awkward Moments That Happen All The Time But Are Never Discussed” - joining a zoom call camera ON, and the other person is camera OFF. No one acknowledges it.

Do you make a face and turn camera off? #freetheface and proudly leave it on ?! IDK WHAT IS BEST

[VeeFriends @veefriends]

Wishing you a very, very, very, very lucky day 🐈‍⬛😏

Happy Friday the 13th!

[Samantha @not_samjones]

After 48 hours of dwelling, my POV:
I have never experienced more self-insufficiency than having tips 💅

Can someone take out my contacts?
Tie my necklace?
Pull up my jeans?
Weirte tnhs twedt witjoir tupos??$

[Samantha @not_samjones]

I wish the people at @sweetgreen could read your mind just like BFs are supposed to: if I say light dressing, I MEAN heavy. “No bread for me, thnx!” Means TWO PIECES. Like, is it just me?

[Samantha @not_samjones]

new moving meditation: walking around @lululemon with sunglasses on eating a cranberry scone. So peaceful…!