Not Jack

I find literally everything interesting. Worried about Lovecraftian parochialism. Massive DaDa issues.

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

Ok. I officially found the most badass hat.

It's a mask from a West African secret society known as the Ekpe. This is secret societies done *right*!

[lee @loveee4lee]

twitter is just one big group chat for people from nyc

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

The whole problem is the abbreviation. “Air con” is awkward and frankly Soviet.

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

Good short story premise

[skooks @skooookum]

Tragedy: ChatGPT generated me an image of my ideal rug but it doesn't actually exist and I can never purchase it and now I have to move through life knowing any rug I choose hereafter is objectively inferior

[The Unahugger @ned_flaczynski]

The “law of large numbers” states that some numbers are very large

[Allen Tsui @TsuiAllen]

Thank you @mariana057 for sharing this. The marketing team who devised or "wrote" this campaign must have thought (ahem) long and hard about the aural innuendo...

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@ctrlcreep The end of the world will be signaled by Gabriel’s Honk

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@Ethelbrait1941 @pinionjay Frog beer

[Alex Heard @alexheard]

"Son, we need to have 'the Talk.'"
"About what?"
"About why European soccer announcers follow country names—that obviously are singular—with a plural verb."
[Child starts crying.]

[Hannah @Spanish_Techno]

Which one of you was it that ordered a “bagel” at a bagel shop and didn’t specify the kind of bagel. Been thinking about that today

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@somethings_awry You’d catch more flies with honey, tbqh

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

I love twitter

[lil piss baby @11kmrn]

@notcalledjack @juliegirltweets have fun with skin cancer

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@11kmrn @juliegirltweets No one said it was a good idea, just correcting a false statement

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@juliegirltweets @11kmrn It does, in fact, give you a base tan. Burning and tanning are analogous to scabbing in that they’re responses to trauma intended to protect and defend the damaged area. Once you tan once, your melanocytes are primed and respond faster and harder.

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

This kinda shit will pushes the limits

[Anthony Bonato @Anthony_Bonato]

How to ruin a calculus student's day:

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

My cat got a little too bitey the other day- I held him up and looked him in the eyes and asked him, genuinely,
"Is this how gentlemen behave?"
I'm not sure what I expected his response to be, but he bit me again.

[Not Jack @notcalledjack]

@xsphi dw, we all make foidian slips

[The Phantom @MarkyLott]

The old “Fuchs” classic from the Guardian letters page.

[🅱️askerville @WB_Baskerville]

Scrolling through Netflix feels like you’re on a parody of a streaming service

[Hadas Weiss @weiss_hadas]

type “can you die from” and let autofill expose your fears