Jon Cooper

sometimes I coach the Tampa Bay Lightning and sometimes I sleep with your mom

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Shit it's been a while. I gave Stamkos a swirly today because he looks like McCauley Culkin that bitch

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

All this rookie camp bullshit has me thinking how young these players moms are. Kinda giving me a half chub #developmentcampproblems

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Fuck, totally I forgot I had a Twitter. I was too busy sucking on titties and drinking everclear. Oh btw, Crosby's mom has a dirty butthole

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Well this weekend was a blur. I got no awards in Vegas but did bang 34 moms and I traded my son to the Hedman's for some Swedish meatballs

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Well I'm fucked up on Budweiser. Last time I drank this much I was balls deep in Mrs. Yzerman and ding dong ditching Bettmans house #fuckyou

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Hey @NHL I should be on the fucking cover of Chel '16. It can showcase Mrs. Bettman hanging a yamikah off my foot long pud #fuckoff

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Just played golf with Bob Barker and Shooter Mcgavin. Safe to say Bob is an old dick with bad breath and Shooter likes to sit on his putter

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville fuck a goat you colonel sanders looking mother fucker

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@notLordStanley @NotQuenville can you guys just fuck off? You're as useful as Bishop in Game 3's #shitpants

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville @notLordStanley all good Joel. Im blowing my load on swimsuit models while throwing rocks at "Caitlyn"

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Yo that UCLA football coach is a pussy. If Diddy came at me I would bury his 5'6" frame and make him play with the human dustpan Brian Boyle

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville @notLordStanley Fuck it, Ill come. I have @jarretstoll on speed dial so if we need any white, I got us the hook up

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Sick...Pete Rose bet on basebalI. I bet on us while crushing beers, ripping darts, and blowing lines off your moms dunk. Fuck with me @NHL

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

Congrats Jordan. Now lace em up and get on the goal line for not having a rocket next to you like coke head DJ. Guy is still a beauty

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville waste of my time. Go fuck a goat

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville me and Stevie Y Eiffel towered your pig of a wife last night so reevaluate your pud cock breath

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville I forgot that dusty fucking muzzy makes you tough. Suck a clit you walrus looking Bruce Boudreau wannabe

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville if he's anything like his dad I'll flick him and his ass will run away. Btw, your wife swallowed 12 of my kids so fuck off

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville don't need Stanley when your wife is playing stone face with me and the triplets before the morning skate faggot

[Jon Cooper @notjoncooper]

@NotQuenville you're an absolute clown. Delete your fucking account you dirtbag and lose the tweety bird chirps pussy