forlorn calzone

I am birthing mother he/him

[forlorn calzone @notthatasiann]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEY'RE DOING AND LOOK AT HOW ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS MY GIRL IS SHE'S MY REAL GIFT THIS YEAR

[BubbleGum Boss @weedheartemoji]

(trying to describe spiderman quickly) He shoots Ropes

[sparkleboob @baysueb]

at the ren faire and my dress keeps getting stuck in my butt crack and a lady just came up and said thine dress is in thine crack

[mich ꪆ𓏲 MCR devil's night + ieroween @JAWS0FLIFE]

that wasn't even the best one 💔

[RABID @RabidConure]

CHARLIE KIRK IS DROWNING OUT THE LESBIANS ON MY TIMELINE

[癒しの動物 @animalkyat]

蝶々の集会に遭遇した。楽しそうだった

[kel :) @kelly_mc1r]

Tom Nook installed flock cameras on my animal crossing island overnight 😔

[Javan Gonzalez @JavanGonzalez]

Don’t be fooled by Greg Abbott’s pause on data centers. This “pause” will last until Election Day. If he wins, he’ll resume selling out Texas’s resources to the highest bidder.

We need a governor who is not in the pocket of billionaires. Vote @GinaHinojosaTX on November 3rd!

[brian @brianonhere]

odysseus’s crew getting surly and restless as it becomes more and more clear theyre not gonna make it back to ithaca in time for the one day a year it’s legal for single people to have sex

[Definitely not Aidan @DefiantlyA]

@RivalsInfo

[Zara Rahim @ZaraRahim]

i am at taylor swifts wedding and it’s a cash bar

[the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing]

always loved Gandalf juking the orcs, staying light on his toes

[Florida woman @stephanicci]

If I get killed by an animal do not kill that animal that animal caught me slipping and that is on me

[Kylie Cheung @kylietcheung]

I honestly just don't have time for this right now

[romy 🪶 @butchspock]

every time i smoke with my friends and one of us gets slightly too high we start saying Spuh as like. a warning

[Nico @NicoOkapi]

fucking the fish man with a lake house for fish

[grovy @grovymango]

I love Costco . The Costco sampler staff are allowed to touch me

[𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖓𝖓 @Bullets4Quinn]

@JoeLongBalls smth like this