Nick Malizia

Comedian. Sketch writer. Nice guy.

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

To fix 2020 we need to awaken The Avatar #ang #Nickelodeon #AvatarTheLastAirbender #water #earth #fire #air

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

Good news: I have hooked up my original Wii and am having so much fun playing the old video games I remembering loving.

Bad news: I’m no longer 18, and I am legit sore after playing Wii bowling. #Wii #WiiSports #thisisthirty #ifeelold

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

The corona virus seems to be infecting and killing more men than women.

God: Essential items only.
#COVIDー19 #essentialitems #girlpower #girlsjustwannahavefun

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@booboorecords how can we keep supporting local record shops?

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

#stayhomesavelives is what I have been telling people for years!!!

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

Alright essential oils, now is your time to prove the haters wrong #essentialoils #Covid_19 #walkthetalk #immunityroller

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

After all the conversations I’ve had with friends over the years about what would they do if the apocalypse happened, not one person ever said, “I would buy all the toilet paper I can.” #COVIDー19 #coronavirus #coronapocalypse

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

Watching @IceAge and I just realized that we need a Three Men And A Baby reboot starring Ray Romano, @JohnLeguizamo and Dennis Leary. Make this happen Hollywood!!! #threemenandababy #iceage #reboot

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

Anyone else work so long and get so tired that once they get off work they’re so exhausted that they’re wide awake for the next 4 hours? #work #hustle #letsdosomething #wired #worklife #cantsleep

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

The least believable part in any movie or show is when it takes place in a major city and there’s always parking in front of the character’s apartment #parking #NYC #LA #MOVIES

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@MaxWeinstein @AriShaffir He has the opposite of Mamba Mentality

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

I look like Harry Potter if he dropped out of Hogwarts and got a job at Google #HarryPotter #Google #abracadabra

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

MySpace will always be my favorite form of social media. Whatever song a person had on their profile told me within seconds if I should be dealing with this person in any way #myspace #music #top8 #ibetyoulookgoodonthedancefloor

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

If there is anything I’ve mastered during the holiday season it would be asking if I can help in the kitchen just in time for there to be nothing to help with #nobutthanksforasking #merrychristmas

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

It’s not Christmas in my house without our Tiny Tim ornament who ironically lost his foot a couple years ago #christmastime #godblessuseveryone @ Avila Beach, California https://t.co/YnXW84GFFt

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

60% of being a wedding DJ is making white people in their 40’s think they’re killing it on the dance floor #weddings #weddingdj #dj #weddingseason #thisis40

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@rotobuzzguy Half point PPR. Olabisi Johnson or DK Metcalf?

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@rotobuzzguy should I trade Davante Adams for Mike Evans?

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

If it’s legal for motorcyclists to ride between cars in heavy traffic it should be legal for servers to flip off customers after they leave a bad tip #serverlife #lessthan10percent #karma #wtf

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@KyleBrandt @gmfb Np! Peyton Manning made mistakes every now and then, and you are both BASICALLY the same person. You’re a living legend! Keep killing it! 🔥🏈🙌 #bonkers4brandt

[Nick Malizia @nucknuckjokes]

@gmfb @KyleBrandt is it 2017?!?! Cause Kirk Cousins is on the Vikings!!!! 😡