Theory of Numbers

Numbers count.

[courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages]

My out of office message:

The past two years have been marked by an accumulation of losses. Loved ones. Colleagues. Friends. People deliberately targeted and killed by the Israeli army. I learned that grief does not arrive as a sequence of discrete events; it accrues. It settles into my body until I start to wonder not only what has been lost, but what remains.

There are moments when I suspect I have lost some part of my own humanity simply by witnessing so much death. I have watched people die in front of me in ways that resist description. I have lived inside a genocide as it unfolded, and I have watched another continue in Gaza, mediated through the relentless images on a tiny screen in my pocket that refuses to yield. The 24 hour image has dissolved the boundary between proximity and spectatorship. We can leave the scene, but the scene does not leave us.

Some images insist on permanence. On more than one occasion, I have watched paramedics carry bags containing the dismembered remains of children. There are sights that do not become memories because they never cease to be present. They have reorganized my inner life.

How much grief can a human being contain before it alters the architecture of the self?

I have been chased by a Merkava tank. A grenade has been thrown at me. Israeli quadcopters have circled overhead as instruments of intimidation. Sound bombs have become part of the atmosphere. Israeli snipers have opened fire on me eight times, most recently last Monday, while a group of us filmed the demolition of homes in Haddatha. Survival, repeated often enough stops feeling like triumph and just, almost mundanely, becomes another condition of witnessing.

This week brought another loss, one I had neither anticipated nor prepared myself to absorb. Its force has surprised me. Maybe grief does not become easier through repetition. Maybe each loss discovers a new vulnerability. For the next few days, I will step away from the field. Not because the work has become less necessary, but because mourning, too, demands its own uncompromising attention. My heart is in pieces.

آخر سنتين من حياتي كانوا تراكم مستمر للخسارات. أحبّة. زملاء. أصحاب. ناس انقصفوا وانقتلوا عن قصد على إيد الجيش الإسرائيلي. تعلّمت إنو الحزن ما بيجي كحادثة وحدة بتنتهي. بيتراكم. بيسكن بالجسد، لدرجة إنك بتبلّش تتساءل مش بس شو اللي خسرته، بل شو اللي بعده باقي منك.

في لحظات بحسّ إنّي خسرت جزء من إنسانيتي، بس لأنّي شهدت كل هالقدر من الموت. شفت ناس يموتوا قدّامي بطرق ما بتوصفها الكلمات. عشت على مقربة من إبادة جماعية وهي عم تصير، وشفت إبادة تانية مستمرّة بغزة، منقولة إليّ عبر شاشة ما بتطفي، شاشة ما بتترك مجال لوهم إنو في مسافة بتحميك. الصورة المستمرة على مدار أربع وعشرين ساعة ألغت الفرق بين إنك تكون قريب من الحدث أو مجرد متفرّج عليه. فيك تترك المكان، بس المكان ما بيتركك.

في صور بتفرض حالها إلى الأبد. أكتر من مرة شفت مسعفين حاملين أكياس فيها أشلاء أطفال. في مشاهد ما بتتحوّل إلى ذكريات، لأنّها ما بتغيب أصلًا. بتضلّ حاضرة، وبتعيد ترتيب العالم اللي جوّاتك.

قدّيش في إنسان يتحمّل حزن قبل ما يغيّر الحزن شكل روحه؟

ركضت قدّام دبابة ميركافا وهي عم تلاحقني. انرمت عليّ قنبلة. طائرات الكوادكوبتر الإسرائيلية ظلّت تحوم فوق راسي كوسيلة ترهيب. القنابل الصوتية صارت جزء من الهواء اللي منتنفّسه. والقنّاصة الإسرائيليون أطلقوا النار عليّ ثماني مرات، آخرها الاثنين الماضي، بينما كنّا مجموعة منّا عم نصوّر هدم البيوت بحَدّاثا. لما البقاء على قيد الحياة بيتكرّر مرارًا، ما بعود يُشبه الانتصار. بيصير مجرد شرط إضافي من شروط الشهادة على ما يجري.

وهالأسبوع حمل خسارة جديدة، خسارة ما كنت متوقّعها، ولا كنت مهيّأ استوعبها. وقعها عليّ كان أقسى ممّا تصوّرت. يمكن الحزن ما بيصير أخفّ مع التكرار. ويمكن كل خسارة بتكتشف نقطة ضعف جديدة فينا. لهيك رح ابتعد عن الميدان كم يوم، مش لأنّ الشغل صار أقلّ ضرورة، بل لأنّ الحداد، هو كمان، بيطالب بحقه الكامل، ومن دون أي مساومة.

[Israel Exposed @xIsraelExposedx]

It took a little longer than expected, but we have created a website for people to view the footage collected from Gaza in one place. You no longer have to download the entire archives to see them.

It includes:

64,537 videos
17,905 photos
Ability to download individual videos
Searchable index
Exhaustive sources list (300+ journalists)
Geolocation data
Livemap with minute to minute updates
Victim list

It can be accessed here: https://t.co/s0Se94PXWF

Please share & quote tweet to help this post break out of the twitter algorithm prison.

We will keep adding the rest of the archives to the site, be patient- it is difficult work. Continue to seed the torrents provided, as that is the best way to ensure the footage remains stored in decentalized way.

God bless all those who sacrificed their lives to get this footage out, and everyone invovled in collecting/archiving it.

Join our telegram:
https://t.co/bvcis3b9GT
Follow our backup accounts:
@ZionismExposedx & @IsraelExposedAr

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@denisyurchak Human technologies are the cause of the catastrophic direction the entire biosphere is headed. There is no alternate reality where some new tech will out-tech the old tech and magically save the day. Our collective bacon is cooked. The AC absurdity is just denial in another form.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@mir_ocall Locals have been warned not to put their hands in their pockets.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@Iskesullas The culture of religious extremistism still runs deep. It is still written into every level of Irish society. Blue handbags prove that. It is the very same culture that brought us the Magdalene victims and countless murdered children discarded into septic tanks.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@Shrink_at_Large We actually are in the zombie apocalypse.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@caulmick @TheNewsHughes The perfect recipe for a move to privatisation.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@BurtchaellJohn In a bid to truly understand the world as it really is, consciously interpreting the 'news' must be one of many lifelong endeavours. So much so, if it were the case that suddenly the news was truth and fact, it would difficult to understand it.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@SuzieWo20886208 Packer, Murdoch and Maxwell were at it for a very long time.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@karenmitchell__ If social media was a person, they would most definitely be a narcissist.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@SweeneySteve The second largest US 'Embassy' in the world, located in Beirut Lebanon, has a lot to answer for. The insidious nature of its presence in the region explains so much about the total capture of the Lebanese government. The entire Lebanese government are traitors to their people.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

The second largest US 'Embassy' in the world, located in Beirut Lebanon, has a lot to answer for. The insidious nature of its presence in the region explains so much about the total capture of the Lebanese government. The entire Lebanese government are traitors to their people.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@PGDynes Capitalism is the frog and the water it is ensconced in has been simmering to a boil for a very long time.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@Iskesullas Why can't they have closed loop systems for water requirements? What is the condition of the water that is being released from data centres? Is it separate to sewage. EPA should have a permanent independent dedicated monitoring station at every data centre outfall pipe.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@liamcunningham1 He is in the queue for next Bored of Peace.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@mir_ocall RTÉ media policy is so far removed from truth and fact, that it renders all of its media output as merely a bad parody. Content aside, all the grains of salt required in consuming its media, is enough to give anyone high blood pressure. Anonymity is not the threat, truth is.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@frank_oconnor @judesherry @rtenews @RTE_PrimeTime @anoisagency That's ok. It is only fair. You guys started something that could cause a shift from the extreme vested complacency exhibited by councils right across the state, into something that can benefit a wider community and not just the vested few. Here's hoping it grows teeth and bites!

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@CheallaighNiamh They have our data. We willingly gave it to them. For free.

Now they are demanding that we willingly give our energy resources to them. But this time it is not for free. Now we have to pay for their total energy demands.

Absolutely no local or regional benefits in return.

[Theory of Numbers @numbers_theory]

@CheallaighNiamh The environmental pressures created and energy resources required by data centres, is so vast that no single country could singularly fulfil that demand. It is the primary reason they are being spread globally. There are no local or regional development benefits. Just extraction.