Holden Tudix

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Moment too big, piss down my leg #literally

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

There should be some sort of rules and regulations for overall life, anyone ever thought of that?

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

I hate when my friends are angry about something I don’t care about. Like ARGHHHHH IM SO ANGRY. I literally don’t care at all. Is it crazy to just wanna have a couple beers and have some fun? #itsthemlbregularseason

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

The Brown Maned Stallion deserves a shoutout too. Her Whoop strain is off the charts.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Super invested in Cece Batchelder vs. Holy Cross rn. Barky wake the fuck up!!!!!!!!

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

@squigglypenis Like save some for the rest of us 🤭

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Guys I’m getting really worried about Gurpy, he’s not back yet.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

@squigglypenis Alright squigglypenis 😂😂😂

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Gonna try drinking in moderation tonight. Feeling pretty hopeful. You know what they always say “the 1543rd time is the charm”

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

I would like to issue a formal apology to the institution that is 730 Tavern. There is no good reason why two grown men should be switching off throwing up in your bathroom. On that note I would also like to apologize to the Harvard Women’s lacrosse team. It won’t happen again.

[Todd “The Twink” Turner @ToddTwink199912]

God I love certain minorities #miami

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

I had a few rules given to me when I stepped into this god forsaken country. Already broken one. COCO BONGO HERE I COME! #prayformysoul

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Just caught myself scrolling reels while walking down the hallway. Am I that desperate for stimulation that I can’t simply walk from point A to point B. Gonna need someone to take me out back and make it quick and painless #sundayscaries

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” But you can definitely give it a treat. Maybe pat its belly. Scratch that one spot that makes him kick his little leg.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Just set the Guinness World Record for fastest time to get into my bed in my underwear after walking into my room. Feel free to challenge me.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Hate when my boy is like “fadeeeeee a talking stage.” But then does some loving ass shit. It happens all the time. @generalbadussy

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Honestly glaze. But like…average day for me.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

In my room speaking Spanish to myself, starting to feel somewhat like a true #Mexicano. Thinking maybe I’ll head down south, burn down a Costco or something. Or maybe just say gracias after ordering at Chipotle.

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

DoorDash needs to get off their high horse and let someone underprivileged risk their life to deliver me some food. #cockblock

[Holden Tudix @nutsackandballs]

Performatively listening to Olivia Dean and looking out the window. If this doesn’t work then I’m out of options. #justtryingshi