abs

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[abs @oatmilkqt]

ROLLLLLLLMFWAVE

[abs @oatmilkqt]

Department of War?!?!?!! HE DODGED THE DRAFT

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING — AND I AGREE — THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. WHY? BECAUSE OF THE “MOST INCREDIBLE MAPS IN THE HISTORY OF MAPPING” (EVEN COLUMBUS). THESE MAPS WILL END THE “VERY RIGGED” ELECTIONS, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN (MAGA!!!), RETAKE CONGRESS “FOR THE PEOPLE”, AND SAVE DEMOCRACY. NOBODY ELSE COULD HAVE DONE THIS — CERTAINLY NOT THE “SELF-PROCLAIMED” MASTER DEALMAKER DONALD “TACO” TRUMP (TINY HANDS) WHO MISSED “THE DEADLINE” AND LOST (SAD!). PEACE THROUGH MAPS — NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE. I AM THE “PEACE TIME” GOVERNOR NOW, STOPPING “POLITICAL WARS” BEFORE THEY START. HARMONY, UNITY, EVEN LOVE. THE NOBEL COMMITTEE HAS GIVEN THIS AWARD TO LESSER PEOPLE FOR MUCH LESS. I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, ACTUALLY EARNED IT. THE WORLD WILL BE SAFER, KINDER, AND FRANKLY MORE “BEAUTIFUL” BECAUSE OF MY MAPS. GIVE GAVIN THE NOBEL, MANY ARE SAYING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! — GCN

[xavier @dicnowder]

is he… y’know… *imitates crab claws*… from maryland???

[abs @oatmilkqt]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[Sophie Hall @SophLouiseHall]

It was the best of times (dipping bread into soup) it was the worst of times (finishing the bread and then being stuck with just soup)

[abs @oatmilkqt]

nothing—and i mean nothing—could have prepared me for Ahsoka talking to a SPACE WHALE and then hitching a ride Jonah style gd i love star wars

[Katmai National Park @KatmaiNPS]

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

(Bears need fat to survive winter hibernation, & 151 Walker is clearly set up well here.)

Vote for these fine specimens at https://t.co/NvXCYNigTJ by 5PM AKDT.

NPS Photo/K. Moore

[𝓛𝓾𝓱𝓪𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷 @luhaenten]

"I love you" is nice. But "whatever souls are made of, yours and mine are the same” is an objectively better alternative.

[abs @oatmilkqt]

not the govt shutdown threatening fat bear week … we ride at dawn

[Travon Free @Travon]

Barbie is white women's Black Panther.

[abs @oatmilkqt]

flight attendants are like moms in that if she’s stressed and angry no one in the vehicle is having a good time we are literally grounded pls behave

[abs @oatmilkqt]

would pay an exorbitant amount of money to be able to choose a “frequent flyer only” flight - THAT is how u get me to sign up for the credit card

[abs @oatmilkqt]

y’all rly mad at RBG like the Federalist Society hasn’t been planning this for 4 decades 🙄

[abs @oatmilkqt]

@kemichels i do not but i saw someone on tiktok ask chatgpt this exact thing and she got great recs for winery-type things - ask the robots!

[EL GOING MCR AND BTS!! ⁷ 💜 @errornorrr]

@tonytula Let the bodies keep the score LET THE BODIES KEEP THE SCORE

[abs @oatmilkqt]

aslan has bde i will not be elaborating thank you