I don't know who needs to hear this, but start living. The days are flying by, and all you do is work, pay bills, and stress. Enjoy what you can-walks, sunsets, music, laughter. Joy doesn't have to be expensive.
You deserve it.
When I was a 3rd year resident already matched into cardiology we had an EKG conference. I was asked to interpret an EKG that was classic for pericarditis but I didn’t recognize any of the findings. I just hadn’t seen much pericarditis in training. I was embarrassed to miss this when I was headed for a career in cards.
Fast forward a couple of years to when I was a fellow and an ED attending showed me an EKG and asked me what I thought it showed. It took me about 2 seconds to recognize it was pericarditis because I had seen it so many times before. A huge change in my skills had occurred from experience.
One of the cool things about medicine is mastering that which once seemed confusing or difficult. As you move along in training things that were challenging or even overwhelming will become so easy they are almost second nature. It’s a cool journey. If you’re in the middle of it, enjoy the ride.