John Shrimp M.D.

Got the magic stick, I’m the love doctor #wfaps

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

oh real mature guys. grow the fuck up. I fucking hate ottawa

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

I just made a genuine love letter to poop in my toilet

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

I trust in God
I love my country
And will respect its laws
I will play fair
And strive to win
But win or lose
I will always do my best

#ijustshitmypants

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

@crackawdajuice Fuck you asshole

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Right hand to god, my dad went to highschool with darth vader

[aintnobodycool. @aintnobodycool]

Holy shit this is waaaaay better than the original song 💀💀💀💀

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Calling a plumber to unclog my toilet and he walks into the bathroom to find hasbulla legs sticking out because he’s halfway flushed

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Niggas yellin' from the stands, watch what you sayin'!

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Little rain never hurt the gains #gym

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Source tells me Mitch McConnell is stable.

Please god

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

I like to ride my peloton nude and read Russian literature after work to #unwind

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

@crackawdajuice #swingandamiss

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

@JeffScape

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

This humble ass white boy has a date next week #balluptop

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

@turbochis

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Amish woman pussy gotta be so pungent that it can get you high #drivingthoughts

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

I have it on good authority that all the teams playing in Philly for the World Cup are staying at the hillside motel in Glen mills #soccer

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

@BCWallin And yet they stick the landing

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Chris moltisanti’s intervention might be the funniest scene in tv history

[John Shrimp M.D. @obgynmeatpants]

Okay jokes over. Who leaked my nudes on Spotify?