John Muchai

Our Glory Days are Here.

[John Muchai @officialmuchai]

Let me re-introduce myself to you:

"I am a content writer and virtual assistant who has left a trail of satisfied clients throughout my freelancing journey. This is my portfolio 📌."

[Kavuli M. Bernard, FCH @BernardKavuli]

REVEALED: Citizen TV has established that the organized protests against the Standard Media Group was well coordinated and financed by two pro-government MPs, one from Nairobi and the other from Rift Valley. Hired goons were given 400K for facilitation. https://t.co/oGTa18snbH

[𝐑𝐞𝐱𝐱𝐢𝐞 @RealRexxie]

1. Our skeletons are wet.

2. Your nose is ALWAYS in your line of sight, but your brain ignores it.

3. When you receive a donated kidney, they don't take out the bad one. They just add the good one in.

4. Your immune system doesn't know you have eyes. Otherwise, it would attack them and make you blind. Injuring one eye can introduce eye bits to the bloodstream and basically give your immune system the knowledge of having eyes. Then it might decide it really fucking hates that and attack your non-injured eye.

5. The quality of the male sperm is responsible for morning sickness, preeclampsia, baby's gender and almost every single pregnancy related issue.

6. You breathe through one nostril at a time. Don't believe me? Put your finger below your nose and try.

7. The brain itself has no nerve endings, so it can't feel pain. That's why patients can be wide awake during brain surgery and made to perform certain actions.

8. That ringing in silence isn't silence. When everything is quiet and you hear a faint ringing? That's your brain listening to its own nervous system. You are hearing yourself functioning.

9. You will never experience your own death. You only experience approaching it... Then nothing. Everyone else gets closure, stories, funerals, and memories. You don't. You never know you've become a memory. From your perspective, the story just stops mid-sentence.

[Irungu Kang'ata @HonKangata]

https://t.co/9ViSwIQrgO is listed by Digital Health Authority

[Eric @amerix]

Pastor Ng'ang'a

[Thirsty Kipsoiwet 🇰🇪 🇳🇱 @Makiadi_]

The easiest “Sugar Mummies” to brainwash ni wale miaka imeenda, but kwa akili zao, wao hujiona bado ni Gen Z.

You will see them on social media, especially on TikTok, dancing in those short dresses ni kama ni teenagers wameingia adolescence, and updating their fans on their gym progress while wearing tight Gym catsuit and sweating profusely after a workout session.

Instead of abusing them in the comments like everyone else does for refusing to “move on” and to accept harsh realities, kama Kijana bado anatafuta, lie low and “cash out” maximumly!

In your first meeting at those clubs in Uptown which play country music and AI songs in the background at low volume, the first question she will ask you after a few drinks ni, “Ukiniona hivi, nakaa miaka ngapi hivi?”

Now, that’s a tricky question, and it’s a do-or-die for these “cabal” of wealthy women. So, usiseme kitu kama 22 ama 23 years. Surely, my brother, ata Shetani atajua unadanganya!

So, weka figure reasonable and before giving your final “poll results,” hold her hand, inspect her palms ni kama unataka kumsomea nyota, check her face keenly, then sema kitu kama, “I’m 100% sure uko 28, na in your next birthday utaingia 29.”

She will laugh whole heartedly, slap your lap, then akuitishie shot ingine ya Don Julio na Chumbi and reply, “OMG! You are so wrong! Kuja juu kidogo!”

My brother, at that point, umetolewa kwa kichaka ya group stages na ukaingizwa semi-finals direct!

Play with the figures as you push one year ahead, na akurudishie in that romantic back-and-forth. But let me warn you: ikifika 34 years, refuse everything and ask for supporting documents.

Of course, from ngozi ya shingo yake, you can tell clearly ako on the “climbing lane,” ya maisha but kuongea ukweli imewahi saidia nani?

Bladifaken!

Be in denial and say something like, “Eunice, hakuna haja ya kudanganyana. Leta ID ama passport tu-confirm, kweraaaa!”

She will give you a warm hug, then akuambie you give her time kidogo, and she will rush to the parking lot, aingie her Lexus RX 350, na atoe passport kwa ile glove compartment matajiri huficha pistol.

At that point, andika kwa WhatsApp group ya your extended family, umepata kazi kubwa Nairobi waache kuomba!

She will return and show you her passport, stamped on nearly all pages, another testament that she is well-travelled and has widened her gap between the haves and the have-nots.

She will hide her bio page and give you one last chance to guess her age. But, as I advised, stick to, “Kama imepita 34 years, then mimi sijui! Aki ya Mungu!”

She will finally reveal it, na utaona kweli Eunice was born in 1976, so ako around 50 years.

Wake up from your seat, then shout, even attracting revelers nearby, and wail, “THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! How? Gadeeeeeem!”

She will beg you to calm down, then ask her openly what the secret is, and she will say, “Hydrating, exercising, eating the right food, and minding my damn business!”

From then on, utakuwa umeingia top secretariat yake, na ni kama umeingizwa butchery na kisu sharp; ni wewe kuamua ni nyama kiasi gani unataka kukata!

Shauri yenu!

[The Good Films. @The_GoodFiIms]

:The movie is Ruined

[George Njoroge @georgenjoroge_]

Dear women,

For those of you without an ounce of an idea, this is how you keep a man.

No seminar. No podcast. No Instagram coach charging Ksh 5,000.

Just this. Study it. There will be no revision.

You're welcome.

[Mascar.Mad @MasCar2919]

@JoshuaLisec My husband and I chuckle sometimes because we know our teenage boys will have a challenging time finding a suitable wife with us in their ear: if you marry someone with tremendous debt, you’re paying for all the fun they had before they met you

[CPA David Ndiritu Mwangi @ndiritu25855]

Naivas was looking for workers

Naivas is the biggest supermarket chain in Kenya. Everyone knows Naivas. But Naivas does not want to hire cleaners, packers, and store staff directly. That is not its business. So it brings in another company to do it.

That company is called Achievo Limited.

Achievo hires the workers. Achievo sends them to Naivas stores. Achievo handles their salaries, their PAYE, their NSSF. Naivas pays Achievo for two things: the cost of the staff, and a service fee for managing them.

Achievo charges VAT on the service fee. It does not charge VAT on the staff costs.

It says: The salary money is not our money. It comes from Naivas, and it goes to the workers. We are just the pipe.

KRA does not agree.

In 2024, KRA finishes an audit of Achievo for the years 2019 to 2023.

On 26th February 2024, KRA issues a Notice of Additional Assessment.

The bill is huge. Kshs 102,133,234 for Income Tax. And Kshs 777,092,137 for VAT.

The VAT bill is the shock. KRA says VAT should have been charged on the whole amount Naivas paid — including the salaries.

Achievo says: "No, we don't owe that." They object on 25th March 2024.

They argue: We were acting as Naivas's agent. The staff costs were passed through without any mark-up. We only earned the service fee. Under section 13(5) of the VAT Act, money paid to a third party as an agent is not taxable.

KRA is not impressed.

On 23rd May 2024, KRA issues an Objection Decision. It allows the objection only in part. It confirms Kshs 962,721,506 as due.

Achievo does not sit around having meetings. They go to the Tax Appeals Tribunal.

On 28th June 2024, they file TAT Appeal No. E717 of 2024.

While the case is going on, the parties talk. On 29th November 2024, they record a partial consent. The disputed amount comes down to Kshs 777,092,137.

At the Tribunal, Achievo produces the documents KRA asked for. Seven of them. Invoices to Naivas. The master payroll. NSSF remittance copies. Employee contracts. The Service Level Agreement. A list of employees below the PAYE threshold. And proof of payments to those employees.

Then they wait.

On 2nd May 2025, the Tribunal delivers its judgment.

Achievo loses.

The Tribunal agrees that the agreement describes Achievo as an agent. It agrees the reimbursement was without mark-up. But it says Achievo did not prove that the money received from Naivas was passed on in full to the workers. So the Tribunal upholds KRA's decision.

Achievo is not done.

On 8th July 2025, they appeal to the High Court. Memorandum of Appeal. Seven grounds.

The case comes before Justice Moses Ado.

The Appellant's submissions are dated 18th June 2026. The Respondent's submissions are dated 17th July 2026.

Justice Ado reads everything. The assessment. The objection. The objection decision. The Tribunal judgment.

And he asks a simple question: What was this fight actually about?

It was not about whether money moved. KRA never said Achievo kept part of the salaries. KRA never said the workers were not paid. KRA never challenged the arithmetic.

The fight was about the law. Were the staff costs "disbursements" under section 13(5) of the VAT Act?

He looks at the Service Level Agreement and the Addendum dated 1st September 2017.

The Addendum says Achievo is Naivas's agent for filing taxes, PAYE, and other disbursements payable by Naivas by law.

The Direct Costs — salaries, NSSF, and the rest — are paid without any mark-up. The Reimbursement Amount "shall not include any income taxes or any taxes, however designated."

Achievo earns a separate management fee. That is where its income comes from. That is where VAT is charged.

The judge also notes something else. KRA had asked for seven documents. Bank statements were not one of them. Only later, in submissions before the Tribunal, did KRA argue that bank statements were essential.

He says the Tribunal was wrong to make that the main reason to dismiss the case.

Then he goes to the substance.

KRA argued: Achievo is the legal employer. The workers have contracts with Achievo. So the salaries are Achievo's own costs. A company cannot be an agent paying its own salary bill.

Justice Ado rejects this. He says KRA is using a labour law idea to answer a VAT question.

The real question is not "who is the employer?" The real question is: whose economic burden is the salary cost, and who gets value from it being paid?

On the evidence, Naivas carried the burden. Achievo only administered the payments. The staff costs were not payment for Achievo's own supply. They were money received for a specific purpose and paid out to a third party.

He relies on the reasoning in Commissioner of Domestic Taxes v Lead Human Capital Limited, decided the same day, 22nd September 2026.

The judge notes there are other cases that went the other way. Commissioner of Domestic Taxes v Stratostaff E.A. Limited and Commissioner of Domestic Taxes v Techsavana Company Limited. He says they are different on their facts and contracts. They are persuasive, not binding.

He also notes the Finance Act, 2026, which added sections 13(5A) and 13(5B) to the VAT Act. Those sections say employee costs in labour outsourcing are not taxable. They do not apply to the old years, but the judge says they support the same view.

On 22nd September 2026, the High Court allows the appeal.

The Tribunal's judgment of 2nd May 2025 is set aside.

KRA's Objection Decision of 23rd May 2024, which charged VAT on the staff costs, is cancelled.

Each party pays its own costs.
#Tax

[Renaissance ⚔️ Morio @RamzZy_]

When women describe a good man 85% of the time it’s a man who can sacrifice their own sanity & welfare for them, regardless of how horrible they are. There are contexts when being called a Good man just means you’re a fool. 😂

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

@DavidNdii , you are wrong. An SEZ licence is not all this project needs, and it does not excuse hiding the agreement.

The government says it signed an agreement with Dangote on 29 September covering land, environmental safeguards and related assurances. That is a public contract.

[Section 5(1)(e) of the Access to Information Act requires a public entity, on signing any contract, to publish the nature of the works, contract sum, counterparty and completion period]

An SEZ licence only covers zone incentives. It does not replace:

–An EIA licence under the Environmental Management and Coordination Act

–Construction and operating approvals from EPRA

–A lawful land title or lease, with compensation and public participation

[EgoKuwait 🇰🇼 @Egokuwait]

The world is really changing.
I just saw a video of this guy telling his neighbor's daughter to stay outside and wait for her mummy to come back. He gently led her outside his apartment and locked the door.
Another guy in the comments said he once waited outside in the rain with his neighbour's daughter until her mom got back to avoid any stories.

[Baron Cohen Ke🇰🇪 @cohen_baron2]

Bibi amepata corporate job town and all l have to do is to get ready for her exit because probably she will

[Eng. Karis | MSC | @Briankariu]

Life catches up with you so fast.

You no longer want to live in that bedsitter. You move a bit uptown, closer to work and a bigger house.

Matatus become disgusting all over sudden. Getting into the office smelling sweat is a no no. You buy that mazda CX5 to commute to work

🧵

[khalif kairo @KhalifKairo]

Lack of reference nearby reference objects.
Your brain generates speed perception by looking at how fast objects around you are moving past, if you remove objects ie by flying at 30,000 feet, your brain cannot “gauge” how fast you are actually moving

[Kones. @BCherich]

I like the temporary feeling that makes them think they are above the program.😂

[Steven Kerwin @StevenKerwin]

TRUMP is always aware of his surroundings and those he's with.
He noticed President Xi needed a few seconds to catch his breath, tapped him, taking the attention away then pointing talking about the view.

President Donald J. Trump, forever the gentleman.

[Obinna Irobinso @obinna1st]

I bought my boxers by myself two weeks ago and yesterday I changed my toilet roll without spreading my legs for any girl. I love the man I'm becoming

[MakaaMotuo @ian_fes]

Bibi ukimpea pesa ya shopping she will divert a considerable amount to Chama but ile shopping kidogo atafanya she uses sparingly hdi iingiane na expected time frame.Ukijifanya mjanja upige shopping mwenyewe to evade her corruption,by 2weeks amemisuse everything to show you levels

[Null @Vhoyde]

Niggas wanna be providers to the same women they're competing for jobs with. It's 2026 man.