beejay

I will never die

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Hiberno-englishpilled folks do be using the continuous present tense also 😎 yup

[beejay @offputting_guy]

There are thousands of aborted coworkers in heaven who never got the chance to show you AI generated shark attack videos

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Youre one of the most sensual coworkers I think I’ve ever had

[beejay @offputting_guy]

PRANK: I left my FRIEND in a SEALED BOX with a VIAL of POISON???!! (GONE HYPOTHETICAL)

[gizzzzz @FunyDonal]

I lied to my taxi driver last night that I'm an archaeologist and now he's on his way over at noon with a curious rock fuuuuckkkkjkkk

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Just came up with my dream blunt rotation and I’m not even in it

[beejay @offputting_guy]

I weed in real life in my toilet this morning!

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

weed in real life:

[beejay @offputting_guy]

The squid concerto I organised has been postponed due technical difficulti. Tentacles difficulty. Technincles

[beejay @offputting_guy]

@oscahss Going to dubai and missing Labubu trade

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Try smoking weed and eating some food… you can thank me later

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Would you call what we did last night sex?

[beejay @offputting_guy]

I’m in your boyfriends dms like What an awesome Instagram story of your epic shoes my man!

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Interesting phrasing. Usually I would say vehicular manslaughter “happens” to the people killed!

[mike d @rickdank_o]

Lots of cringe replies about something that happened to this guy nearly four decades ago.

[carson o'genic @maccaucelebrity]

once you've been to shelbyville you'll never stop wanting to beat mayor quimby to death with your bare hands

[beejay @offputting_guy]

He looks way older than 23

[non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder]

Two parents listening to the heartbeat of their 23-year-old son’s transplanted heart.

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Yeah my thesis is sort of exploring country music through a post-malonial lens

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Forcing my way into the cockpit mid takeoff to ask the pilot and copilot if they ever hang out or if it’s mostly just an at work relationship

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Lowkey feel like this snake oil I bought isn’t doing shiit for my impotence

[beejay @offputting_guy]

Jordan Cahill

[Dr TT @doctorTeeTee]

Name a celebrity that would body these wigs

[beejay @offputting_guy]

handjob after 3 days no shower call that a cheese pull