I am ready for an incredible new week.
Money, Success and Joy will flow effortlessly towards me this week.
I am ready to receive all of the miracles and magic coming my way this week.
I am always where I need to be and the timing of my life is perfect for me.
I Affirm ✅
Dear God, as we begin this new week, please make life a little easier for us. Many of Your children are carrying heavy burdens, facing challenges, and doing their best to stay strong through difficult times. Grant us Your grace where our strength is failing, Your mercy where we have fallen short, and Your favor in places where doors seem closed. May this week bring good news, unexpected blessings, peace of mind, and reasons to smile again. May every honest effort be rewarded, every silent prayer be answered, and every family experience Your provision. Amen. Good morning 🙏✨
American: So there are terrorists causing problems in your country, right?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: That's terrible. Is the government at least doing something about it?
Nigerian: Well, our president addressed the issue.
American: Oh. What did he say?
Nigerian: He spoke about the law of lawf in the holy book
American: ...The law of love?
Nigerian: I guess
American: Okay. Did you send the military after them?
Nigerian: Hmm... at times.
American: What do you mean "at times"?
Nigerian: Sometimes we've heard the military went after them. In some cases, the terrorists ended up killing military personnel.
American: Wait. They killed your soldiers?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: Okay, so then your government retaliated and finished them off, right?
Nigerian: Mm... nah.
American: What do you mean "nah"?
Nigerian: Well, our president also gave an example from the Bible about the prodigal son on how we should accept them with love.
American: Hold on. The prodigal son?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: I'm confused. So you're telling me terrorists killed military personnel, and the response was a Bible lesson?
Nigerian: Something like that.
American: So you guys aren't doing anything?
Nigerian: No, no. We're doing something.
American: Okay. What are you doing?
Nigerian: We're rehabilitating the ones we catch.
American: You're... rehabilitating them?
Nigerian: Yes.
American: Not prosecuting them?
Nigerian: Not according to our president, no.
American: WTF WTF WTF
Nigerian: I never even tell you anything, you don dey cry
After 22 years of being mocked for not winning the league title, it’s now been 22 days since Arsenal won the premier league title.
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