lizzi

I swear I’m funny I just have an office job

[RK☄️ @mygoatiswashed]

The doctor removing the bullet from Charlie’s neck and seeing “if you read this, you are gay lmao"

[🌾🌾dyatlov pastiche 🌾🌾 @muffinlab]

[balling fists at my side] do NOT talk to him like THAT

[genesis @sIeepyyou]

If smoking weed makes you paranoid and anxious that's because you approached the joint with impure thoughts and a heavy karmic debt

[Gonzo 𓅃 @adgodev]

Omg the meme is (kinda) real

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

Bring back filters I’m all for it thank you @lapse_app

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

Woke up at 3am to get on Ticketmaster Ireland site and get tickets to see Liam in Dublin. Literally NO clue how I managed to do it, but……I got dem thangs

[trash jones @jzux]

being good at my job? you mean my weaponized competence

[Micheal Afolaranmi @TheAfolaranmi]

what do you want to eat?

what are you in the mood for?

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

@hellyunofficial Ok so I googled it and I guess it makes sense but not when I compare it to Demi permanent hair color

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

@hellyunofficial I know what Demi permanent hair color is so now I also don’t think I know

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

She’s all over the counter and I can’t stop her I swear to god she’s gonna grab a knife soon

[lizzi @ohlizzi]

My cat has feline herpes from being at a shelter which most cats have but it gives her upper respiratory infections and she’s always gross and boogery from her lowered immune system. I got this homeopathic thing on Amazon and this bitch is fine now and has become too strong……

[clare @sadderlizards]

how your email finds me

[Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST]

Jada Pinkett reveals she has actually never met Will Smith

[noelle ♡ @fairymelodia]

"are you fucking stupid"

me:

[i like food @messedupfoods]

dumplings (well done)

[˚✧benjamjn @kylie_gender]

He’s making a little rat noise like skktsktkskktkskt

[lady ganga @alfajorgito_]

jamon cocido nails