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dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
This is just a bunch of dumb stuff that comes out of my mouth every day, conversations with friends, and things I overhear. *Fair warning: it's mostly NC-17
Joined April 2016
3
Following
44
Followers
67
Posts
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
over 9 years ago
Ok, so 1. Who would shit on a camera? 2. That's a dumpster, not a camera. 3. There's a porta-potty like...right there.
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
over 9 years ago
@joerogan
a great, quick read about the woman who proved that the coelacanth wasn't extinct
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
over 9 years ago
"Nope, nope, nope. Put that shit in a dildo like batteries and fuck that!"
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
At this moment, I think America is the rest of the world's reality tv show☹️️
Who to follow
Conservation Florida
@conservation_fl
From the Panhandle to the Keys, we’re protecting the places Floridians love & connecting the Florida Wildlife Corridor. #ProtectOurParadise
Gigafail
@GigafailOnline
Australian metalhead/Political centrist/Iconoclast
Steele DePew
@spdepew
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
There are some people who are very wealthy and have lots of THINGS, and its more like they're valuing happiness as a future event ~B.Grazer
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"I get it. You're a big pile of bloody mudslide. I'll leave you alone."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"You're words are like acid. Not the good kind...the kind you'd throw in someone's eyes to blind them."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"Dude, stop talking. Your two cents aren't worth six wet farts."😝
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"Remind me to not drink coffee and then eat Thai food in succession."
#poorchoices
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"She was a nice enough lady, but...well, let's just say she wasn't gonna win any spelling bees."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
For
@amyschumer
The Strawberry Shortcake: When you cum in the girl's face, and then you punch her in the nose so it bleeds...so wrong😂😂😂
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"Ugh. Spending time with you is like mixing orange juice and toothpaste...its just awful."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
A lot of people still deserve a shopping cart into the side of their car. ~Billy West
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
😂😂😂 Don't worry, looking at you, I'm pretty sure getting married is the last thing you have to worry about!
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"You need to sort your shit out. Drugs are only a patch. After drugs, you're always gonna need more drugs....you fuckin' dummy."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
Overheard this gem at dinner: "Well, y'know. You can't send a duck to a eagle school!" ...what the actual fuck?!
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world. Not even our troubles." ~Charlie Chaplin
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
Whatever. Stop talking. All I hear is "Blah, blah, blah. I'm not the person you have sex with, so my opinion doesn't matter."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"Honestly, it's not you. The sound of ANYONE'S happiness is like a dagger to my face."
dirtyoldman
@oldmanwagner
almost 10 years ago
"It makes my butthole hurt in a weird way. I don't know why." ~on the subject of palmetto bugs
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