Joshua Omedi

Knowledge dispenser

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@BillowKerrow Talk about the Somali terrorist who wanted to kill people in Minnesota

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

How to invest in Kenya while still abroad.

Thread below:

[Katusiime Caroline @KatusiimeCarol5]

This has killed me 😅😅😅😅😅😅

[ManuWay @ManuWayy]

FULL: Kanel Joseph got detained by police at the fair after they got a report that he was carrying a gun on him😳

[Pulse Nigeria @PulseNigeria247]

Nigerian graduate Nnabuike Chisom goes viral after delivering his Master’s graduation speech in fluent Chinese while representing international students at the Zhongnan University of Economics and Law. 🇳🇬🇨🇳👏

[Fox News @FoxNews]

WATCH: SpaceX CEO Elon Musk rings the NASDAQ opening bell as the company officially goes public, setting him up to be the world's first trillionaire.

[Eric @amerix]

The organ meat that most people forget is the BEEF HEART.

Beef heart contains more CoQ10 than any food on earth.

CoQ10:

• Powers cellular energy (ATP production).

• Protects the cardiovascular system.

• It is an antioxidant that protects mitochondria.

CoQ10 declines with age, therefore, as you age, you need more of it.

Slice thin the beef heart. Marinate it, then cook it fast over high heat.

Cook it like steak and don't overcook.

#FoodFriday

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

I’ve just woken up after spending the entire night at Club 1824 aggressively irrigating my throat with Kanamba Specioo alongside a yellow yellow damsel from generational wealth who temporarily decided to use my God-given talent of penetrating straight of hermuz namna hatari for her own emotional and recreational healing.

Because this economy has humbled some of us beyond recognition, I have officially accepted my fate as a self-powered rechargeable dildo. Mimi kazi yangu ni kumumunya Mukombero, kuinua makagare na kuomba Nyasaye anipe nguvu. Hunger can make a grown man abandon dignity faster than Safaricom bundles disappear after opening TikTok, chesaa!!

Anyhauu, so I log into this beautiful app expecting peace, football banter, and maybe explicit photos from shameless women, only to discover that the nation’s leading fundi wa singege and alleged pinhole camera technician has now become the unofficial ambassador of Kamongo deodorant. This app will never disappoint.

What was supposed to be a simple podcast interview has now turned into a full-blown hygiene civil war. During the Iko Nini podcast with Polo Kimani, Mwafreeka woke up and chose violence. The man looked at Polo Kimani directly in the pores and confessed that throughout the interview, he could allegedly smell sweat circulating in the studio namna hatari.

According to Mwafreeka, surviving the one and a half hour recording session required the strength of a Maasai moran and the lungs of a deepsea diver. Mwafreeka claims the studio atmosphere became so dangerous that even female anopheles mosquitoes were fainting midair.

The rasta man then advised Polo Kimani to invest in two very important national resources,, Water & Deodorant. But Polo Kimani was not about to take those allegations lying down like affordable housing promises. He stormed social media breathing fire and accusing Mwafreeka of being rude, disrespectful, and a fully sponsored government propagandist.

Honestly, I don’t even know how a podcast interview turned into a hygiene summit, but here we are brethrens. Personally, I just hope Mwafreeka never had the same thoughts about me when I appeared on his podcast. Thankfully, Mama Liam prepared me like a man attending a Ruracio with a dented pocket.

She made sure I was smelling like imported Dubai perfume and dressed like the son of a Adonija. She even gave me a lift to South B using that metallic jerrican she confidently refers to as a Mutoka that she bought with a loan.🫩

As Polo Kimani continues defending the sacred doctrine of Mwanaume ni Jasho, Mwafreeka has now positioned himself as chairman of the National Hygiene Oversight Committee. Both camps are currently sharpening their tongues like warriors preparing for battle, and unless someone urgently donates Geisha soap and roll-on deodorant in the spirit of national unity, this war of words is far from over.

For now, here at the Kalahari Desert News Desk, ours is simply eyes, ears, and unnecessary analysis as we continue monitoring this developing story from a safe distance preferably somewhere with proper ventilation. Stay tuned gaiz,, coz you know what,, I gatchuuu. Na kama kawa siku zote sisi kama walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Where will AI be in 1, 2 or 3 years?

[The Oligarch @NytoP2PMwangi]

This comrade is living in a KSh 7,500 bedsitter at Witeithie, but everything in his house is high-tech!
With limited resources, the guy is already living in 2050! 😀😀

[Black-Jesus💧🇿🇦 @KingMntungwa]

The last part kills me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Mike Sonko who happens to be my lookalike has come out crying like a faulty Sayona woofer after sharp boys wamemugongea. The man is in distress after discovering that the lady he has been fully sponsoring,,, rent, bills & soft life has been receiving high-voltage electricity from other undisclosed transformers across the city.

In the video, Mike Sonko is lamenting like a man who just found out his exclusive contract was actually a public tender. He says a yellow yellow damsel had wrapped him around her finger like Ringos. She was serving him the food that face the earth, and in return, Sonko made sure daughter of Agrippina lacked absolutely nothing except loyalty.

My guy even started hitting the gym. Not for health, He embarked on a serious weight loss journey so he could increase voltage during transmission hours. We’re talking core workouts, squats, stamina drills,, man was preparing like he’s joining the American army.

The instruments of power below the legs were being calibrated like KPLC transformers before peak hours. But what Sonko didn’t realize is that you can’t domesticate daughter of Agrippina. That’s a free-range species. Whether you’re rich, broke, or sponsored by IMF, the outcome is the same,, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

He started suspecting something was off when he entered the Bermuda Triangle only to find diameter imesonga & the beacon had shifted coordinates. My guy arrived at the destination and realized the runway had been expanded beyond the capacity of his aircraft. That’s when it hit him amegongewa msambwanda.

Now Sonko is out here fighting for admission as a self-sponsored student at the prestigious Great Kalahari Desert University of Science & Technology (K-DUST), majoring in Dust Mitigation, with a minor in Advanced Heartbreak Studies.

Now imagine, if Sonko who's a dollar millionaire can be served premium tiyaas, what about us ordinary wananchi operating on Fuliza and hope. Ayaaam telling you Omwami, the streets are not just cold, they are refrigerated. Chesaa!! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@georgediano 🤣

[The married man @marriedmn]

My wife had closed the Strait of Hormuz for one week, after I threatened to get the fuel from venezuela, she opened it quickly.

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@BillowKerrow Cry

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@BillowKerrow We are better off with Israel. Terrorists never. Not in Kenya.

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@KinyanBoy Correct

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@Belive_Kinuthia True

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@Honeyfarsafi They are the last line of defense of Muslim. Once defeated(soon) Muslim will be never rise their horn.

[Joshua Omedi @omedi_j]

@MigunaMiguna @C_NyaKundiH @BCherich Stupid according to you. I concur with his sentiments .