Meghan

[Meghan @omegha369]

I am getting old and lined and spotty and more susceptible to makeup ads at an age where makeup has never looked worse on me. Have these items always been advertised to not work unless you buy 5 other things to layer with them? Feels like a pyramid scheme.

[Meghan @omegha369]

I’m of the age of being unsettled by the lines popping out on my face like dandelions on a lawn, and I’m getting into a routine of moisturizing with delicate fingers. I also can’t resist scrubbing my face hard with a coarse ancient towel when I get out of the shower. I’ve tried.

[Meghan @omegha369]

From and old, old journal entry, writing about writing: “My brain is kind of like stew, and writing is like picking out a big ass chunk of potato to munch on.”

[Meghan @omegha369]

@shengwangtime @NetflixIsAJoke This made me laugh so hard, over and over. Been telling everyone to check it out. Thanks so much!

[Meghan @omegha369]

The nostalgia that welled up me from #TheLittleMermaid trailer was thick as butter. Can’t wait to see it… but also I just realized that I’d never considered that the mermaids sing underwater. That changes the effect entirely for me. It’s like they’re whale-singing.

[Meghan @omegha369]

This made me cry with laughter.

[Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

my friends and all our dads listening to the laser tag employee give the instructions:

[Matthew Bradley @mbradleytu]

In “Goodnight Moon,” a story whose premise is listing the things in the room, why is no mention made of the sweet little bunny’s TIGER SKIN RUG?!

[Meghan @omegha369]

@FlippyO @anonymomma2 @BetteMidler Correct. It’s a great service but in high demand and crazy expensive. And in some situations there is an appropriate priority list for babies with health problems.

[Meghan @omegha369]

Today I am 40 and feeling the radiation from my Gen X proximity.

[Michael Girdley @girdley]

Generation X is weird.

These 42-57 year-olds are so strange it presents golden opportunities.

Here are 10 mind hacks to use with Gen X:

[Meghan @omegha369]

@MaryKateBrogan @annehelen It’s true. Hashing is one of the easiest ways I’ve ever experienced to make friends.

[Meghan @omegha369]

@mybroadcastday

[Meghan @omegha369]

@mkhammer My knees have gone crazy with pops since I was pregnant last year. I was wondering whether it was hormones, or that I’m always down on the ground these days.

[Meghan @omegha369]

The ringing in my ears after that shower is making me reconsider the value of a good high-flow ear cleaning.

[Meghan @omegha369]

I cannot stop laughing about this.

[Al Yankovic @alyankovic]

Is this why everybody’s been talking about “Wordle”?

[Meghan @omegha369]

I wish there was a meme of a scene from #Scrubs, where Amy Smart says “I’m gonna go change into my sweats” and @zachbraff says “…You’re already wearing sweats,” because that is what the pandemic feels like to me and I want to use that all the time.

[Meghan @omegha369]

@KEB22032 @strangeways0476 @thatsajellyfish @sonicdork Baskets on FX. It’s pretty amazing.

[Andrew Farmer @thatsajellyfish]

One of the most breathtakingly hilarious, warm and loving character performances of all time.

[Meghan @omegha369]

My IG stream is starting to show me maternity clothes again, and I’m like “… What do you know, algorithm?” #notpregnant

[Meghan @omegha369]

I feel like jet packs are happening and no one is freaking out about it like they should.

[Meghan @omegha369]

I have reached the age where the cast of Grease looks young to me. The exception is Scarface… he will look ancient for eternity. #Thisis39