Dan Humphrey.

Never tired of the chip on my shoulder. | Anti-hero

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

Me, after trashing everyone I know in a book and then ranting to Satan (Georgina) that they haven't kissed my ass for being rich and famous too.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Phew.

I thought you were gonna say something about SLEEPING WITH CHUCK BASS. Even capitalism is better than that.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach would like to tell us something, @glistenandweep. It’s realllllllly important.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@brckendesign Yes, okay. Yes, that sounds good. Maybe we should invite dad too?

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@imcharlierhodes @DebonairBeguile That’s… Odd. But… Thank you.

I doubt we’ll be seeing a sequel though. Sabrina— I mean Serena would obviously throw me off the Brooklyn bridge.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Classy.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

Waldorfia.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@glistenandweep You can stay with me as long as you want. [strokes your hair before tilting up your chin for a kiss] You can even have the better side of the bed. Less lumps.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@glistenandweep

Hi.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

This night just got so much better.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@glistenandweep Oh my God. Is it my birthday? [grabs hold of you, tucking you under my arms] -Where- have you been?

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@brckendesign I don’t know. I think there’s too much baggage sometimes.

But it’s good to see you, Jen.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Phew.

I thought you were gonna say something about SLEEPING WITH CHUCK BASS. Even capitalism is better than that.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@imcharlierhodes @DebonairBeguile He obviously stole that from ‘Inside.’ My award winning, best selling book. You guys have read it, you know what I’m talking about.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Oh come on, Blair. Lighten up. Humor’s good for the soul.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Waldorfam.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@brckendesign You’re the only one who does, Jenny.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

Did you miss me?

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@ReinaCornelia Then let’s both head towards the restaurant and clear this up. Maybe Serena wants to have lunch with both of us.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@meteorinreach Blair, I don’t have history— I have economics. Which is the other way, so… I’ll see you around. [mumbles the last bit under my breath as I turn away] Which is hopefully a very long time away.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@ReinaCornelia Very funny. She must have been inviting you for tomorrow because she texted me like, 20 minutes ago. I’ll tell her you said hi.

[Dan Humphrey. @optimalinsider]

@ReinaCornelia What you call bitterness, I call… hesitation. And last I checked, my girlfriend lives on the Upper East Side. I’m meeting Serena for lunch down the road.