TheReganReport

The World isn't made up of good people and death eaters, we all have light and darkness inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. - Sirius Black

[John Crist @johnbcrist]

Christmas morning is the super bowl for the guy who carries a knife in his pocket 365 days a year

[TheReganReport @oreganogle]

Do you ever look at whales and think "God must have made these so we would go 🙀"?

[TheReganReport @oreganogle]

If you need to take a mental health day it should probably involve watching The Prince of Egypt.

[michael @FilledwithUrine]

bro idc if im 25 if i fall asleep in your car it’s your responsibility to carry me to bed and give me a kiss goodnight

[ᅠ @artindetails]

stained glass window

[NBA on ESPN @ESPNNBA]

Ja Morant has been ejected from Grizzlies-Thunder.

[TheReganReport @oreganogle]

Fi👏nal👏ly👏

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT

Netherfield Park Is Let at Last!

[Dara T. Mathis @TrulyTafakari]

How I became the Hugging Mom 🧵:

Every day when I drop my son off at preschool, I give him a hug and wish him a good day. I tell him I love him while he runs off to play with his friends. Last week, after I hugged my son, something different happened.

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

apparently when I said I wanted to see Les Misérables someday, I should have clarified that I did not mean "unfolding on the streets around me in real time"

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Why is small talk even legal!?

[TheReganReport @oreganogle]

And again I say rejoice.

[TheReganReport @oreganogle]

And I'll say it again.

[Jane Austen First Drafts @Austen1stDrafts]

Elizabeth Bennet is a stronger woman than I am, because if a guy I’d rejected caught me touring his house I would jump into his lake and keep going until I made it to the ocean.

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Hey, I tried to parallel park into a spot and goosed it twice so I'm just gonna go home. Enjoy brunch though, I'll catch you next week.

[Matty @bestestname]

Angel: You want them to rest every night?

God: 8 hours. Completely unconscious and immobile.

Angel: And then they wake up completely refreshed?

God: No.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

There is a difference

[Kaveh MD @thehouseofpod]

You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf but…

[SparkNotes @SparkNotes]

Parents, please check your kids' candy this Halloween! I just found the plums that were in the icebox

[Into The Forest Dark @ElliottBlackwe3]

I always thought I wanted to go on one of those Viking River Cruises until I found out there was no pillaging and plundering.

[Into The Forest Dark @ElliottBlackwe3]

Me as soon as it turns Autumn

[Jeff Weddle @FailingPastor]

THEM: God doesn’t bless a ministry unless the minister’s heart is in it and wholly submitted to God.

JONAH: Uh, ackchually . . .