୨୧

[୨୧ @osamuist]

opened this account so I can talk to the moon

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i want to feel alive again i want to throw myself at someone and be burned maybe the thrill will help me escape from monotony even if it’s good for me

[୨୧ @osamuist]

when i think things are getting better there’s still an emptiness that lingers in the corners of my room, i’m slowly bringing my friends back together and yet the silence catches up to me. there’s nothing to be this shaky about

[୨୧ @osamuist]

then i think about how i’ve finished uni, have to be put on jobseeker and won’t be able to mindlessly attend my classes but work a real job in the meantime. i wish their concert was closer because now every day is a distraction until i can see them

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i even bought myself my own that i know i’ll eat and enjoy in anticipation that she wouldn’t do anything, and to interrupt my schedule to go collect it myself go kys fuck off

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i know her performative ass doesn’t actually care about me because why did she want to go out to the fish market and buy me a cake when i don’t like seafood or the type of cakes she buys ? its only bcuz her bf was there i swear

[୨୧ @osamuist]

im so sleepuy iwant to be affecfionnate wifj someone mayhbe theyll help mentske mh med s again i haye feeling misundersfood by tyese people

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i thinkg my impulvidivtu is hettjng worse iwant to dpend it all ifs my month tomrrkw anyway i want bts tickrgs and a pc iim ogijg to lose mh youth wllownce soon anyhway i dojg want to worrk mama

[୨୧ @osamuist]

is it the autism or the trauma or the thin walls who knows why i cant fucking speak up no matter hwo much itry to project myvoice i always have to end up repeatijg myself why do i even talk

[୨୧ @osamuist]

genuinely killing myself if i don’t get these tickets i only live for them it’ll be my birthday too it’s the one thing i want in life Please let me have this

[୨୧ @osamuist]

maybe i do have violent ocd and i should turn myself in before i actually hurt someone not even 30mg of melatonin works i csnt sleep or stop thinkignwbout it

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i leiied i wagche fthe whole epic msiicsl againb cryijg at i fwn help but wifjer wnd wojdl u fall in love eitbbme again i canf bliebe men lienghis dont exist outside fo fiction i owuld betrwy a thousand to ssve one but theyre not nerdy enogh to hnderstand

[୨୧ @osamuist]

lsitrning to hadestwoj to fwl sbck asleep bechsse foolsih was playainng it todsy also eepic icnt etop thinkgigj wboht all i hear ar screewmms thie kife is amaziiijng when ugreet ithei opeen arrms all u could want here all u coudl ener here la lala lala laaaa

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i leep hsvijg dreams of fcuking jungkook but todsy it was almost suckijg namjoons dih even tho i waasnfonna go to jk immediately sfter wnd th other dayi rt was dsting mina i thno kit s telingnme somehtijg i hate beeyrone they suould go die

[୨୧ @osamuist]

WHAT AN AUTISTIC THING TO SAY

[୨୧ @osamuist]

im not sure what to think when people call me autistic, like i don’t feel any different? sure, my view on food is the only obvious sign but i dont think ive struggled much with socialising during school. i mean i did get in trouble a lot for being too blunt but isnt that a normal

[୨୧ @osamuist]

im doing something right tho bcuz i get called the life of the party n joyous n whimsy despite being the most emotionally constipated person ever

[୨୧ @osamuist]

teenager experience? i never got bullied, and if anything, i was more of a bully myself. i have a better grasp of humans now yet something about me is still off. maybe its my dry humour or monotone n i cant bring it in me to be expressive in this household

[୨୧ @osamuist]

im not sure what to think when people call me autistic, like i don’t feel any different? sure, my view on food is the only obvious sign but i dont think ive struggled much with socialising during school. i mean i did get in trouble a lot for being too blunt but isnt that a normal

[୨୧ @osamuist]

i wish my parents were more abusive or addicts so i’d be justified in the things i want to do

[୨୧ @osamuist]

https://t.co/AMNfQ4vjQj

[୨୧ @osamuist]

https://t.co/wpPNlqaH2e