carissa

millennial. she/her. 🌈 💊

[carissa @overcooked009]

@CrownAndJoke Oh no! I hope you’re okay!

[Aneesa McMillan @AneesaSM]

Reba, not right now……

[carissa @overcooked009]

@QuikTrip @IdaRed @megan55910719 I want to win a coaster!

[carissa @overcooked009]

@austincamp Levetiracetam. I got that one right at my pharm school’s spelling bee contest, but it cost me the competition when I misspelled the word “Ambien” as z-o-l-p-i-d-e-m. 🤦‍♀️

[Amanda @Pandamoanimum]

Me: Opens Twitter. Starts reading a tweet at the top of my timeline.

Twitter: OH NO YOU FUCKING DON’T. REFRESH! REFRESH! REFRESH! YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO FIND THAT TWEET EVER AGAIN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

[Okie (and USA) Political Memes @OKPoliticalMeme]

EDMOND is doing this????

How did Crying Ryan manage to piss off Edmond????

[𝗞𝗮𝗹𝗲⸆⸉ 🦋 @cloverbloom_]

When the team I’ve been supporting for 2 months makes it to the Super Bowl

[Reba McEntire @reba]

Boots with the fur…#SuperBowlLVIII ready!

[carissa @overcooked009]

@spillthetmai I’m thankful and so proud of your 15 year old self too! You did a wonderful thing writing that letter. Ugh I can’t believe he was sent to another school where he assaulted someone else tho. It’s all so terrible.

[J.D. Baker @JD__Baker]

No one:

Ryan Walters:

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

men are really like “stop showing the pretty woman during the football game! we don’t care about her cause we’re not GAY!! now show us more MEN!!!!!”

[amber @dumbamber]

this is what my man sees before bed time

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

hypothetically,

if I was going to nominate a film about a badger,
starring a badger,
called "Badger,"
for best picture...

I would also nominate the badger, right?

[Jill Gutowitz @jillboard]

y’all need a copywriter. these are just song names followed by food names. zero creativity. zero lore. how bout cornelia street tacos. death by a thousand tots. karma asada tacos. don’t call me kids meal. don’t call me baby back ribs. look at this pepperoni pizza you made me

[carissa @overcooked009]

@Jamies4OU That looks amazing!

[carissa @overcooked009]

@Jamies4OU Awesome, thank you so much for sharing!

[carissa @overcooked009]

@Jamies4OU These look amazing! Do you use a knife or is it something else to dice the peppers into little squares like that?

[Dr. Fiona Mattatall 🪩🇨🇦 @FionaMattatall]

“When do you think your anxiety started?”