Owen

Welcome to my Twitter it’s terrible jokes with a minimum of seven typos and punctuation errors

[Owen @owrangle]

He said "Well son! That! That there was Princess Diana!"
Then he bowed his head a little and said "We lost a good one there."
Gotta be honest the whole interaction was a powerful argument for just ignoring the world and staring at your anxiety rectangle.

[Owen @owrangle]

I was happily staring at my phone in the cafe this morning and a fella came up to me and said "Ah you're looking at your phone! You know it's bad for you."
I said "Yeah I know" and put it down.
He said "I have a trivia question, I read this in one of those magazines over there."

[Owen @owrangle]

I said "Okay hit me with it"
He said "Okay who said this: "Nothing gives me more happiness than to try to aid the most vulnerable of this society. Whoever is in distress who calls me, I will come running."
I said I had no idea.

[Owen @owrangle]

Property developer consultant who predicted a Labor loss at 2022 #springst election earnestly concludes that declining Yes vote is because everyone has suddenly realised that they’re mortgage stressed and - in a real turn up for the books - he knew it all along!

[Kos Samaras @KosSamaras]

Some of us have been sounding the alarm on this for a long time. Yes, some public polls did suggest that the Yes vote (sentiment) was strong enough for it to hold up. But voter sentiment is never static and it becomes highly erratic when buffeted by huge economic head winds.

The mistake the Yes camp have made was to assume people care more about this then paying the mortgage, not going broke.

It’s going to be defeated unless something drastic happens. Over the next few months, over 600,000 households move from fixed interest rate repayments to variable. That’s not an ideal time to cut through with a complex and nuanced message.

*Im voting Yes.

[Owen @owrangle]

You’re into history? Oh yeah?

Well I’ll bet you can’t tell me one thing that’s happened.

[Owen @owrangle]

Reasonably lofty standard you’ve set, but okay. How are the left-wing bonafides of the clients listed here? Will we go over them individually?

https://t.co/nOYhJsp3YW

[Kos Samaras @KosSamaras]

The home. It should be your safe place. A place where you can retreat and recover. This right, this basic ‘stuff of life’ should not be owned and controlled by someone else. That’s of course my own personal political view. I am a social democrat.

Hence why I have a personal and moral objection to people on my side of politics owning more than their own home. My side of politics, the Left, should not own the roof over another worker’s head. (Yes, a very personal view).

I grew up in public housing. I rented well into my mid 30s and I am now very fortunate to have the means to own my own home. Luck and circumstance had a lot to do with it. I now can easily buy another property but I refuse. It’s not my right to treat another human beings home as a vehicle to more wealth for myself.

Of course, if you do not share my politics then you will strongly disagree with this view. I respect that. But if you are on my side of politics and have joined the ranks of the landed gentry - this will hang around your neck like a massive weight in the coming months as we debate this housing crisis.

[Owen @owrangle]

My housemate asked me when to use “near” and when to use “close” and I have honestly never thought about this in my life

[Owen @owrangle]

Anyway I think it’s wild that people just go ahead and move to other countries and do this all the time and we often don’t feel the need to remark upon it

[Owen @owrangle]

How do people learn languages ever? I think I’m making progress then I learn that I’ve been super confidently using the complete wrong words for stuff

[Owen @owrangle]

Saints losing a game badly. It’s like a warm blanket. Everything back to normal again. 😌

[Owen @owrangle]

@Nathcore Yeah I think I got the immersion. 6 Chileans going full weón in the living room. I was just tapping out for long periods because you’re trying so hard to communicate and you stuff SO MUCH UP and it is embarrassing

[Owen @owrangle]

How do people learn languages ever? I think I’m making progress then I learn that I’ve been super confidently using the complete wrong words for stuff

[Owen @owrangle]

@Nathcore Well executed chilean joke here

[Owen @owrangle]

I’ve been living with three Chileans for 4 weeks now and let me tell you if you’re looking for a guy who can say “I don’t understand” in Spanish I’m your guy

[Owen @owrangle]

Did you guys hear about the 6’6” 140kg nightclub bouncer with a shaved head, tattoos down each arm, a black belt in 4 martial arts, a steely glare, and a day job in television post-production?

Apparently he was super imposing.

[Owen @owrangle]

So far of anywhere I’ve been I’ve gotta say Auckland has the worst weather. Consistently no good for anything much at all.

[Owen @owrangle]

@dylanwightlabor I’ve done some just plain bone headed things that would have had me T-boned by a VS Commodore out of pure spite in Werribee and I’m still here

[Owen @owrangle]

I’ve been driving around Auckland for a couple of weeks now, and I gotta say my experience of the local drivers has been pretty good? You don’t hear good feedback about drivers very often but it’s been mostly pretty fine?

[Owen @owrangle]

Bathroom exhaust fans? Now there’s an extractive industry I can get around!

[Owen @owrangle]

Looks like the Saints are reaching the back end of the flattery section of this particular flattery-deception cycle

[Owen @owrangle]

Hey I’ve got one. It’s about a man who - seeking redemption for his imprisonment for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread for his sister’s starving child - opens an initially revolutionary but sadly Ill-fated nation-wide gymnasium franchise.

Working title Les Mills-érables.