And old english gentleman is sitting in his study...
Suddenly his buttler crashes in through the door and screams, "SIR! We are flooding! There's water everywhere."
"James! This is most irregular. Please leave and come in again with the dignity that is inherent to English gentlemen!"
The buttler bows himself out and then comes in again:
"Sir, Flash flood, the River is..."
But the lord interrupts him, "James, please compose yourself and deliver the message with calmness and dignity! Out you go!"
James steps outside and then opens the door again and calmly states.
"Sir, it is my very good honour to introduce to you, The River Thames"
I am deeply grateful for the many kind messages and positive feedback I have received, both online and in person, about my Second World War posts.
It is heart-warming to know that so many of you find them informative and worthwhile.
DID YOU KNOW? 🤔
Long before modern power inverters, Ford offered a factory Onan 2500-watt generator mounted right under the hood from 1969 to 1972!
Available on the "Contractor Special" and "Farm & Ranch Special," it actually ran straight off the truck's fuel tank and battery.
Because why use a normal truck bed when you can turn your entire engine bay into a literal powerhouse? 🛠️⚡
#ClassicFord #FordTrucks #ContractorSpecial #VintageTrucks #BuiltFordTough #FordDentside #ClassicPickups #OnanGenerator #TruckLife
Three spies — from England, France, and Italy — are sent to the USSR.
After a week, they are captured and thrown into prison.
The Russians take the English spy, tie him up, and torture him. After 20 minutes, he gives up all the information.
They do the same to the French spy, who also breaks after 20 minutes.
Then they bring in the Italian spy. They tie him up and torture him for hours, but he refuses to talk.
Eventually, they give up and return him to his cell.
The other two spies stare at him in disbelief.
“How did you do that? They broke us immediately!”
The Italian replies, “I wanted to tell them everything… but they tied my hands so I couldn’t speak!”
Tonight Mrs Higgy made me 2 lots of scrambled eggs on toast in an attempt to disprove the Sainsburys claim that "brown eggs cause climate change".
The first plate she served up was made with white shelled eggs.
I consumed them in a room where the temperature was 20.2°. When I'd finished, the room was still at 20.2°.
The second plate, made with brown eggs, was more interesting. Served again in a room at 20.2°.
But..... by the time I'd barely eaten half of it the room temperature had already risen to 26.7°, there was a hurricane blowing in under the door, the carpet had turned to sand, the road outside the house began to flood and Chris Packham was banging on the door and calling me an "evil climate change denier".
I reassured Chris that Mrs Higgys experiment had proven beyond all doubt that brown eggs cause catastrophic changes to the global climate and he returned home relatively happy that the science had been on his and Sainsburys side on this particular occasion.
In other Princess Anne news in case you missed it...
A new portrait of her was unveiled recently.
Here it is.
It's beautiful.
If there is one person who has done more than anyone else to keep our constitutional monarchy intact thru sheer devotion to duty, it's Anne. No one has worked harder no one is more rock solid.
Before the USA sank into obnoxious pruderies and unchristian values promoted as gospel truth, in short when people still had common-sense and interacted with reality instead of social media - the YMCA hosted naked swim lessons (1950s and 1960s, and earlier). Men were not taught to be afraid of their body.
I accidentally uncovered one of the funniest secrets in my parents' marriage.
My parents have been married for over 30 years.
Every summer evening, without fail, they'll spend an hour outside together watering plants, pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and fussing over their yard.
The landscaping around their house looks like something out of a magazine.
I've always assumed it was my dad's thing.
A few years ago, I was helping him outside and asked how he got so into gardening.
He laughed.
Dad: Honestly?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: I've never really cared about it.
Me: What?
Dad: Your mom loves it.
Dad: I just like spending time with her.
I remember thinking that was one of the sweetest things I'd ever heard.
Fast forward to this week.
I stopped by while my dad was out of town.
My mom and I were sitting in the kitchen talking when the yard came up.
Mom: You know, I never actually cared much about gardening.
Me: ...what?
Mom: Your dad loves it.
Me: No he doesn't.
Mom: Of course he does.
Me: Mom...
Mom: What?
Me: Dad told me years ago he only does it because he thinks you love it.
She just stared at me.
Then I stared at her.
Mom: You're kidding.
Me: I wish I was.
So we started digging.
Turns out when they first started dating, both of them wanted to seem interesting and outdoorsy.
Dad told her he enjoyed landscaping.
Mom pretended she did too.
Dad saw her enthusiasm and doubled down.
Mom saw his enthusiasm and doubled down.
And somehow neither of them ever admitted the truth.
Thirty years later they're still out there every evening watering flowers neither one of them actually wanted.
Just because each thinks they're doing something nice for the other.
Me: So what are you going to do?
Mom: Nothing.
Me: You're not going to tell him?
Mom: Absolutely not.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because now he'll think I've been lying for 30 years.
Me: You have been.
Mom: Exactly.
I haven't told my brothers.
I haven't told my dad.
Honestly, I don't think I ever will.
At this point it's less of a misunderstanding and more of a renewable energy source powering their entire marriage.