Paige

lather, rinse, receipts (she/her)

[Paige @Paigopolis]

I haven’t taken my earrings out in 2 weeks is this how you get toxic shock syndrome ???

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

A fun conspiracy theory would be that cryptocurrency is secretly a Treasury Department program to make the regular economy seem fair and stable by comparison.

[Desus MF Nice💯 @desusnice]

twitter currently feeling like the delancey street mcdonalds

[Chris Calogero @RealChrisCal]

“Damn this is not how I expected this to start—oh shit right” - me watching an elaborate production company logo that plays before the movie starts

[ellory smith @ellorysmith]

Sorry for muting you on Instagram
:( it’s just that ur beautiful and life seems too easy for you

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Face flaking off from the retin-a, nose red from constant Kleenex use, hat hair - I don’t think my bf is prepared for my seasonal molt

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Falling asleep with just a little bit of eyeliner on to pretend I had a wilder Friday night than I did

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Just heard someone say the best first date idea is to “take some Molly and just go dance” and tbh I don’t agree but I am older now

[shosh brodman @shosh_brod]

Being the only single person at a group AirBnB is a fun game of where will I be banished to sleep

[anna @therealromanroy]

you can almost see the screams catching in his throat

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

well well well if it isn’t me writing all the things from last week’s to-do list on this week’s to-do list

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Replied to a Craigslist ad for a cat stroller - mental state is great

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Business trip hotel
An edible
National Treasure 2 on cable!

This is what Mary Poppins was—wait this is what Julie Andrews was on about.

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Getting high and buying $20 worth of bandaid stuff to help me break in new sandals and also a blue eyeliner - fuckin absolute wild Saturday evening

[Paige @Paigopolis]

As someone with hundreds of pictures on my phone of men over 45, my boyfriend being age appropriate is for sure the worst thing about him :/

[Paige @Paigopolis]

@TroubleCone

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Posted a chair on Craigslist 30 minutes ago and don’t understand why it’s not sold yet is my Friday night vibe

[Paige @Paigopolis]

@SoSure Power

[Sam Sanders @samsanders]

I am convinced that some of the worst people in the world are people who write in to Dear Prudence

[Paige @Paigopolis]

Guy I’m dating got a haircut based off a celebrity photo I sent him so I’m feeling very powerful