is mayonnaise an instrument?

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@grifxtruly But plastic hearts is sooo good

[your babyy ❤️🦋 @Veryweirdgirl_]

I love deep conversations. Tell me why you thought the man who doesn't clean his room would be a good husband.

[aren @lighthouseace]

My dad confessed he wished he started beating me sooner because he was actually too easy on me and I replied “probably wouldn’t change much due to your weak faggot arms” and he genuinely had no response. Who knew I could stop my own child abuse with bullshit Twitter come backs

[Mia @Mia5062]

Male-centered women have nothing to offer me as a friend. They're insufferable.

[butterflyeyes @feminine_lux]

she’ll never be respected or book more works as an actress because she’s so unwilling to try different things w her looks. always looking and playing the same damn character

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Sorry if this offends food truck owners, but food trucks need to be CHEAPER than restaurants again. I'm not paying $22 for tacos to eat standing next to a parking lot. How are they charging restaurant prices without a restaurant? I can't be the only one that's noticed how crazy food truck prices have become recently.

[iti malias @itimaliasof]

Pra quem não sabe, essa é a sensação de almoçar pela primeira vez em um emprego novo

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@GagatellaCvnty2 It was lowkey tea fgjdg

[Chrollo“🎴 @GeneralChrollo]

Las mujeres creen que un hombre va a estudiar 10 años de ginecología para poder verles la vagina llena de hongos

[woo woo woman @witti_indi]

Thank god she’s doing rock music again. Justice for plastic hearts.

[blaire @pissshit90001]

If you are Canadian this winter I am so fucking sorry

[Dr. Brian Hoeflinger, MD @drhoeflinger]

I’m a retired brain surgeon and I wanna tell you why you feel like life is passing by. I just need one minute to explain this to you so hang in there.

Repetitive daily routines stop the brain from recording clear detailed memories. When every day looks the same, your brain does not track time the same as a clock does. It tracks change. If nothing new happens then days, months, and years start to blur together.

This is know as Time compression. When life lacks variety, your brain compresses past days together, making it feel like time is sped up.

To stop feeling like life is passing you by, add new experiences to your life. Break routine habits, like changing your daily home routine, taking a different route to work, or trying a new hobby.

Schedule small trips or plan new adventures so your days do not blend together.

Practice mindfulness by staying fully focused on what you are doing right now and not trying to race off to the next task.

Keep a journal and write down happy memories or memorable parts of the day before you go to sleep.

Take deep, calm breaths when you feel anxious or rushed to return your focus to the moment.

You can and you will retrain your brain to not feel like life is passing you by by following these few simple measures.

[tyris ✰ @TYRISPRINT]

i’m so fucking mad i fell for this i was ready to hand her my card information

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@WorldManKid @hula_hoopla @cowboylikeivvy Agreed

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@cowboylikeivvy She needs to let go of this clean girl look

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@mlmferdinand I wanted to like her last album sooo bad but alas, it’s a Miley album

[max nation supreme leader @mlmferdinand]

every time miley cyrus is releasing a new album, i am blinded by my love for her as a person and become enamoured with the idea of a great miley cyrus album. and then i listen to it and i remember it's a miley cyrus album

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@googlethestats @kaythabarb Braver than the marines

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@radfemma Obviously people know that some choices they make are part of conditioning but you’re not “coddling women” by refraining from providing annoying and unnecessary commentary to women who do what they want lmao

[is mayonnaise an instrument? @pak33zah]

@thankfullyk Same