I've been neglecting my body, health and mind but it's alright it's only because I stopped believing in my own potential years ago and am suffering from the consequences
There is a famous scene in The Wire where a security gaurd approaches Marlo Stanfield after he steals from a bodega. The security guard confronts Marlo about it outside, but makes a point to note that he is not disrespecting Marlo, but that he is still is a man and going to stand up to him.
After the security guard becomes noticeably desperate and loses control of the situation, Marlo responds by saying. "You want it to be one way, but its the other way." The security guard later gets put in a vacant.
If ETH wants to compete with BTC or ZEC as a store of value then the formula is nuke the EVM on L1 and set a hard cap on supply. If not then you're competing with Hyperliquid and Solana. But then the valuation metric changes to activity and resulting burn, not CROPS.
The Ethereum community thinks they can achieve store of value status without ditching a programmable VM and committing to a fixed supply for ETH.
They want it to be one way, but it's the other way.
Truth is i dont know what im doing, truth is im scared, truth is i never thought i would even be 24, truth is i never wanted any of this, truth is i feel ashamed of my feeling of not wanting to be, truth is this body should have gone to another soul.
the older i get the more i realize how much of a ghost i am to my family, they’re all involved with each other and i just show up every now and then maybe once a year if even that. theyre all growing and im just going to be someone they barely knew. and probably never understand.
i got medical debt, credit card debt, rent due, insurance debt, phone debt, car payment, food, and a life i could give a shit about. someone fucking kill me.
everyday it just gets worse. i feel so cooked in life, i stopped talking to my parents, i don’t want them to see me like this. i’m the world biggest disappointment. i cant work, i cant learn, i cant talk, i cant be a human. Im so alien.
im not moping around! i was born and now i have to try for this stupid life that i dont want. fight for memories i dont want, fight for a face that i wish i didnt have. train a body i wish i could cut and burn. and everyone judges me when i walk around dragging my feet. Fuck you.