merlot mcguff

bring back quaaludes

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

🖕CaNT TeLL ME FuCK!!🖕

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

recently switched from trunks to briefs and keep hanging brain… fellas, is this normal?

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

prep + doxypep is the gay man’s birth control + plan b

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

we live out our days
in fear of the lives to which
our showers lead us

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

folk like me on the john 🚽
from 9-5 ⏰

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

my entire vibe is shaggy from scooby doo but if he were a bro

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

music to hit the pen and collect spring water to

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

🚨 🚨
do not order the brownie batter blizzard treat!!!
🚫 🍫 🥤 ✋
it is not delicious!!
🚨 🚨

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

me, about to pay for my drive thru order:
“time to pay the tummy toll!”

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

we’re all just looking for Middleton

[capricorn cunt 🎀 @celesitial]

work is done, time 2 get high https://t.co/3ZXB3i8qyJ

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

foh with that “ruh roh”

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

if a great dane started talking to me i would punch him in the snout

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

i took a shit at lake tahoe and all i got was this lousy tshirt

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

i need to experience going through a car wash strapped to the hood of an suv at least once before i die

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

city folks will never understand

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

y’all don’t appreciate the stars like I do

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

I’m hoping for a Kennedy 🤞

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

when we eat the rich, who will be the tastiest?

[merlot mcguff @panthergivenchy]

you bitch Flo don’t contact me unless you’re lowering my rate