Parra Matt

Labs & The Eels...say no more.

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I'm going to a deodorant party this weekend...
Roll on Saturday.

•My ex dumped me because I never repaid her for the deodorant she bought me.
I odour a lot of money.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •A Babylonian walks into a bar & holds up 4 fingers & says "12 beers please."

•An Iranian entrepreneur opened a copy shop.
It's called “Prints of Persia.”

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •If one synchronised swimmer drowns...do the others have to as well?

•What do you call twins?
Synchronised swimmers.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert screaming from pain & rolling around.
He was touched by the music.

•Celine Dion just announced she will no longer sing.
Luckily her heart will go on.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •Have you ever seen a person murdered by a jigsaw?
They always look puzzled.

•I have a joke about jigsaws but I can't get it together.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I’ve always wanted to replace the Mediterranean with orange soda.
I guess it’s always been my biggest Fanta Sea.

•I just got hit in the head with a can of Fanta.
Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parramatta Eels @TheParraEels]

Our territory ⚔️

See you in the stands #PARRANation 😤

#PARRAdise #moses250

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •As a wizard, I enjoy turning objects into glass.
Just wanted to make that clear.

•Why did the glass pane start a fight?
Because it was tempered.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I bought a Cosmo magazine that said "Best Sex Ever!"
All I got was a bunch of papercuts.

•Why doesn't Trump read books?
He only reads MAGAzines.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I'm 95% vegan now.
Basically, I'm vegan all the time. Except when I'm eating.

•Why do vegans often look miserable in photos?
They don’t like to say ‘cheese’.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •What does a man with a 12 inch penis eat for breakfast?
Well this morning I had a boiled egg.

•A piece of toast & a hard boiled egg walked into a bar.
The bartender says “We don't serve breakfast here".

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I've invented a new version of Rugby League. Only people who wear glasses play it.
It's a non-contact sport.

•How many American Rugby League fans does it take to change a lightbulb
Both of them.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •Whats the difference between an onion and bagpipes.
Nobody cries when you cut up bagpipes.

•My sister thought she was so smart. She said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is an onion.
So I threw a coconut at her.

@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •Did you hear that Superman is going out with a woman who swallows jewellery?
I don't know what he sees in her.

•What kind of jewellery do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Spartengerm @Spartengerm]

@RavenZech2

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@NewyBeachBum How can I order on UberDoor? Yummo!

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •I replaced my friend's chapstick with a tube of glue.
So far, he hasn't said anything about it.

•What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?
Don't look, I'm changing.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •Why did the chicken go to the gym?
To build up it's pecs.

•I broke up with my girl at the gym.
We just weren't working out.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine

[Parra Matt @parramatt]

@JayD1313 •My wife is a lousy cook.
After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.

•My cook quit after the main course...I guess he desserted.

#BringBackJokeOfTheDay
#IStandWithJay
@AndrewVossy
@thatjimmysmith
@JoelCaine