Alyssa

penguinologist

[chavíto @Chavito316]

me whenever i’m on a date bowling

[Alyssa @partydad78]

@brielledemers

[Kim Kardashian @KimKardashian]

They can steal your recipe but the sauce won’t taste the same

[Alyssa @partydad78]

Customer Service 101

[Brielle🌎 @brielledemers]

Fuck ya life BING BONG

[Alyssa @partydad78]

oshinko

[𝕚𝕧𝕪 @ProfessorGetter]

alexa, unshit my pants

[Alyssa @partydad78]

yo fr boomers don’t give a fuck they will literally stare your ass down for no reason

[Soup @soupinthering]

i was fighting for my life last night

[Alyssa @partydad78]

i think i’m becoming a granola person.

[Rob @thegallowboob]

every damn time

[Lyss @LyssKnobbe]

Being a good wife is buying healthy food, supporting your husband's projects, and over decorating for every season.

[connor Wood @fibulaa]

It’s crazy that we go through our daily lives totally ignoring the fact that there’s a shewolf in the closet

[brent @murrman5]

a guy just started his motorcycle next to me in this parking lot and I tried to play it cool but I dropped my keys

[Sillay @E_SILLAY]

Her: I only date Italian guys

Me: