-_-

army wife

[Adam Friedland @AdamFriedland]

The best I’ve ever seen them

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Separated at girth

[-_- @pat_eagan]

hawnk shuah

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Would you rather be 3 years old with everything you know now or your current age with everything you knew when you were 3 year old

[-_- @pat_eagan]

@len0killer @jockowillink Benny safdie?

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Almost fell thru the first story of my parents barn when a wood board collapsed under me while trying to do the shoot dance happy new year

[-_- @pat_eagan]

I like it when people say “today is the first day of the rest of my life.” That’s every day

[-_- @pat_eagan]

@_omgbritt Hm sounds like a lie

[-_- @pat_eagan]

They say the biomass of all ants in the world is greater than the biomass of all humans in the world but they’re actually referring to the biomass of the ants I’ve eaten in my lifetime

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Gary is short for Gawrence

[Jack Haley @JackHaley_]

You’re telling me a blunt forced this trauma

[-_- @pat_eagan]

They should have one car that races in the Kentucky derby for reference

[-_- @pat_eagan]

@michaelacp_ Cole hacked Mollie’s FB and posted this

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Guy who wears boxer briefs backwards because he thinks the gap on the front is a shit flap

[B/R Football @brfootball]

A MASSIVE moment for Arsenal in the title race 🔥

(via @NBCSportsSoccer)

[-_- @pat_eagan]

@michaelacp_ You would know a cuck, homewrecker

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Going into a long “a little bit about me” monologue to the guy I’m training at work like a college professor

[-_- @pat_eagan]

@michaelacp_ Congrats you got the joke 🙄

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Objection your honor; let him cook

[-_- @pat_eagan]

Cryptid? More like scripted