Pat Downey

NJ / NY Standup

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Toilet John Lennon: “Gimme some poop”

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

@billybobbroll

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

@billybobbroll

[conner @winterweather]

me and my homeboy did this to a dude behind a wingstop once and he died

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

@JozuJoestarr

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story is Sid winning a crane game twice in a row instead of spending $38 in quarters

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Victor Wembanyama

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Hamburger’s autopsy report confirms that he was pink in the middle and turned over halfway through cooking.

[Clash Report @clashreport]

IDF announces death of Staff Sergeant Noam Hamburger, 23, killed by Hezbollah.

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Mid-turd and a guy grabbed the next stall & made beef stew like a rocket. Instant smell. In the brown eye of the storm #shitmogged

[KnicksMuse @KnicksMuse]

Screw it, Landry Shamet Jersey Giveaway

To enter:
• Like + Repost
• Follow @KnicksMuse on X + IG

That’s it! Make sure you do both. 4 more!

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

@Doughnutz_90 That’s what we wound up doing

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

MTA locked the entrance/exit of the 7 train platform and trapped 10k+ people on the ramp. No staff, no police, nobody to direct us where to go. But also the I Quit tag team match ruled #AEWDoubleOrNothing

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

With my luck this would be the night I decide to try psychedelics

[Culture Crave 🍿 @CultureCrave]

‘Masters of the Universe’ drone show spotted over Los Angeles 💥

• Had 1600 drones

• Guinness World Record for brightest drone show ever

(via @AmazonMGMStudio)

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

This means Garrett Bobby Ferguson is in Hell

[Cartoon Base @TheCartoonBase]

Jonathan Kimble, Jimmy, Ace Balthazar and Leon are all in heaven with Pops.

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Five words every woman wants to hear:

“Hey buddy. I’m medium soft”

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Dabbing nicotine and listening to “Rap God” by Eminem

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

Trump: I spoke to one of the former presidents who I actually like, and he said, ‘I wish I did what you did.’

Kamala: Iran is our greatest adversary- a destabilizing, dangerous force.

Guy getting his cock sucked by Brian “Q” Quinn: Looks like I’m not tonight’s big loser!

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

“To be or not to be” is a very pothead thing to say

[All day Astronomy @forallcurious]

🚨: Forensic analysis found cannabis residue in clay pipes excavated from Shakespeare's garden

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

If terrorists attacked and an NJ Transit bus came to my rescue, I would still call a Lyft

[Pat Downey @patdowneycomedy]

George Martin trying to come up with an album cover