Pat Duffy

aspiring absent father

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

This isn’t a cry for help or anything I’m only putting this out there for posterity. but just so everyone knows: if I go bald I will be killing myself

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

@4firstnames_

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

@realbigv2 @WillKremer I’ve been meaning to get a big branch

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

@realbigv2 what a horrible fucked up thing to say to somebody

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Mom the urbanists are romanticizing USC village can you come pick me up I’m scared

[Strong Towns @StrongTowns]

No, this isn’t a city in Europe, it’s USC Village in Los Angeles, California. We can build walkable, liveable, human-scale places in America. The first step is legalizing them with zoning and parking reforms.

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

I’m just trying to offer you a free estimate on a kitchen remodel ma’am why are you using the hard R

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

If my job as a telemarketer for a home improvement company has taught me one thing it’s that there is no creature on God’s earth more demented and foul than the Southern California homeowner

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Whenever I enter the stretching area at Planet Fitness I feel like I’m intruding on a safe space for women

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Hot gas station cashier lady called me a r*tard and I won’t lie it kinda did something for me

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Back in LA which means it’s time to shift from “asshole in Boston who won’t stfu about California” mode back into “asshole in California who won’t stfu about Boston” mode

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Just found out I’m a nepo baby (my dad also has a drinking problem)

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

You’re in her DMs I’m in her dreams delivering riddles and cryptic prophecies making her question whether she’s insane or the world is

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

@kroneavirus gotta pay homage to the original text

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Why do bash Casey Anthony but we never question if her daughter had really bad vibes? Or was just unpleasant to be around?

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

I am the Michael Jordan of being liked by the workers at Taco Bell

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Walking into Home Depot with a company credit card and all the employees start prostrating and laying flowers at my feet

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Ngl pushing a big rock up a hill just to watch it roll back down and pushing it back up all over again sounds like a really fun day but that’s just me

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

“I have ADHD”
you mean you’re stupid
“No like my brain just isn’t very good at certain things like organization and memory”
yea thats called being stupid

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

@caseymfournier absolutely incredible piece of attire

[Pat Duffy @patduffy260]

Guys listen if every one of us lights a cigarette at the same time there’s no way the flight attendant can stop us all