Pat

Always towards better things IG: paaatgutierrez

[Ava @noampomsky]

something I wish I knew earlier in my life: it is okay to take a really long time to do something if you are making slow progress the whole time. do a bit every day, even take breaks if you need. it’s tempting to think you have to do it all at once, or give it up as hopeless. but if you keep at it you’ll crack it eventually

[Ava @noampomsky]

also most anxiety is not “felt.” you don’t need to feel anxious to be anxious. which is why you get the most neurotic uptight people insisting “they aren’t anxious.” it’s a clenching/bracing thing not a racing heart

[femiiiiii. @femiiiszn]

when you realize that routines are actually rituals of devotion to yourself and your dreams, they become much easier to follow.

[Ava @noampomsky]

we all have obligations we’ve acquired haphazardly just through being human beings and going through life. it is an extreme privilege to be obligated to others. therefore pick your privileges with extreme care

[Ava @noampomsky]

If you’re interested in getting what you want I really recommend becoming someone who is not embarrassed by wanting or needing things

[Ava @noampomsky]

if you put sufficient time, love and effort into someone their conception of the good life will become irrevocably influenced by yours and you can see your combined ethos in everything they do. it’s very gratifying

[Ava @noampomsky]

I think a key thing in life is figuring out what you need to do or say to feel like you’ve made your best faith effort in any given situation. Like if you’re in a conflict with a friend—what do you need to do/say to feel like you’ve done your best to extend an olive branch and the rest is up to them? Or your boyfriend did something that hurt your feelings—what do you need to do or say to feel like you’ve been honest about your experience but still open to repair?

I’ve noticed that I tend to feel most resentful when I’m waiting for the other person to acknowledge some hidden tension I’m feeling. Maybe I feel awkward bringing it up or I feel it’s obvious to both of us, so instead of doing or saying something I just get more and more annoyed in silence. Over time I’ve discovered that a much healthier approach for me is to just say the thing and see what happens. It doesn’t always get fixed, but *more information almost always becomes available.* The plot advances.

An action-oriented version of this might be something like “asking out your crush.” A lot of people point blank refuse to do things like this bc they’re like “well if they were interested they would make it clear so why would I ask.” That might be accurate, but the point of doing it is *for you*—if your crush tells you they’re not into it, now you’re free to move on. That’s why I say it’s important to understand what your *own* best faith effort is—what do you actually need to do or say in order to move forward?

Obviously, this gets trickier the more complex the situation is. One example might be a romantic relationship you find dissatisfying. It can be very difficult to understand what a “best faith effort” actually looks like, because in theory you can keep trying forever as long as the other person wants to stay in the relationship. So you really have to develop your own understanding of what’s bad about the relationship, what tolerable looks like, and *how long and hard* you’re willing to try.

The crux of what I’m saying is that it’s really easy to put the onus on the other person and what they’re doing/not doing and say/not saying. But more and more I understand that’s actually an attempt to escape from self-knowledge—instead of blaming someone else, you should be getting clear on what *you* need to do to feel okay about the situation. It’s not easy, but it’s the only way out of resentment.

[Heidi Priebe ✈️🌞 @HeidiPriebe1]

Repair is not, contrary to what many think, about the allocation of blame. It is about the capacity for a return to intimacy. When we have hurt someone, we have changed them. To refuse to see the part of them that has been changed by us is to no longer know them.

[Nicholas Fabiano, MD @NTFabiano]

Repetition rewires your brain
Repetition rewires your brain
Repetition rewires your brain

[star @tfwfix]

time and again i think about fleabag's "it'll pass" because it did. it passed. but i still think about it at times.

[Ava @noampomsky]

this unwillingness to ask comes from shame and pessimistic fatalism about what is and is not possible. think about what it means that you won’t advocate for fundamental aspects of your wellbeing

[Nicholas Fabiano, MD @NTFabiano]

Forget mind over matter.

Neuroplasticity turns mind into matter.

Your thoughts shape your brain.

[orph @orphcorp]

if you lack executive function a good question to ask yourself is what is a lack of executive function protecting you from

[hart the phoenix @puheenix]

life is teaching me a lesson right now that goes like,

if i avoid holding someone accountable in order to preserve the relationship, a) i'm gonna resent the relationship, and b) it won't actually preserve it

embarrassing when a whole ass life lesson fits in a single tweet

[Cam @harleybaghdad]

Moving is such a psychotic endeavour and it’s awesome that renters have to do it like every 2 years

[ηιүα ♛ @niy2pretty]

If you don't actively shape the life you desire each day, you'll eventually wake up to find that years have slipped by unnoticed.

[scott 🌞 @scottdomes]

adopting a stance of loving curiosity towards myself has made me way more willing to take responsibility for every aspect of my life

because I’m no longer afraid that any particular fault/mistake means I’m “broken”

[nihilism disrespecter @meaning_enjoyer]

you basically have 2 hours a day to do high quality, cognitively demanding work and if you are smart you will spend the rest of the day organizing your life in such a way that those 2 hours are continuous and uninterrupted

[Scarlet Astrorum @ScarletAstrorum]

@OrphicCapital Your Caregiver is real. Your Caregiver is reliable. Your Caregiver loves you. Your Caregiver follows knowable patterns. Things exist even when you can’t see them. You can make things happen. You can make good things and bad things happen. If you cry your Caregiver will hear you.