Patrick Bodayle

Patiently waiting for the invention of the all top-rack dishwasher.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

Controversial opinion of the day: Adults playing kickball will never not look weird to me.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@Arightside I do not wish ill on anyone, but let me ask you: Would Mitch McConnell pray for me, a liberal, if I got sick? I mean, probably not, right?

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I hate the fact that the Babylon Bee is conservative, and that it's actually pretty funny:

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@mrmikeMTL Yes! And Russell stuck the probe in the frog's eye and made a girl in our class pass out.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@S_U_Network So-so

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I'm going to walk into traffic now.

I'm buying movie tickets online and I realize...
That I qualify for the...
SENIOR DISCOUNT

I mean, honestly, it's five bucks, so I'm going to do it, but still.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

The porn version of "The Big Bang Theory" is called "The Big Bang" and I'm mad that something so obvious never even occurred to me.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@josecoronel1985 @Monica55dzrh I have no defense against this position. :)

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@ApexJonesHACKED Once again proof that a crowded golf course is literally the most miserable place on Earth.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@james_xond Yes! And Russell stuck the probe in the frog's eye and made a girl in our class pass out.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@Kristinartz Both, milk to thin out the mixture and butter to add the taste and creamy texture. If you want the texture without the taste, try vegan margarine.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I love how all the stories about the world cup are about how Europeans come here, drink all the beer and then clean up after themselves, instead of, you know, the soccer.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@FearedBuck When are people going to stop making excuses for fucking psychos like this? He deserves to be fired over this.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I have to take a nap now, I just put my 12 character/mix of upper and lower case letters/including at least 1 number/including at least 1 special symbol password into my television using the remote.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

They did a bit on SNL about an Irish woman cooking Irish food for her date. Solid joke here, but the first thing I though of when he said it was "well, he just hasn't gotten to the Corned Beef yet, he'll be chewing that for days."

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I mean, say what you want about Spotify, but where else are you going to find a 50 song playlist that's nothing but covers of The Smiths "How Soon Is Now?"

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

Oh, so I'm hosting this year? Thanks for the heads up, fortune cookie.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

Well, I miscalculated that one. All 2 hours and 36 minutes were great.

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

I'm going to see Project Hail Mary tonight (2 hrs. 36 mins.). I can almost guarantee I'll walk out of it saying "That would have been a really good 1 hour 45 minute movie."

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

@Milajoy I mean, you paid off the loan but still own the house, right?

[Patrick Bodayle @patrickbnj]

Does anyone have a recipe handy that requires ONE THOUSAND packets of Chinese restaurant condiments? Because if you do, I'M READY TO ROLL.