Payton Somerville

be the person your dog thinks you are

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

going to mention this moment in my vows, @sauceisnice

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

@Ticketmaster @NoahKahan i promise im not a bot, just a desperate fan

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

i was soooo close 😭😭😭 @NoahKahan plz help me

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

refreshing ticketmaster for @NoahKahan tickets at target field until i go into psychosis

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

told me me he silenced “love island” on his timeline to avoid spoilers

i’m going to marry him:’)

[Johnny AGI @JohnnyAGI]

They loved Marjorie Taylor Greene, now they hate her.

They loved Thomas Massie, now they hate him.

They loved Lauren Boebert, now they hate her.

They made fun of Biden for nodding off ("Sleepy Joe), now they ignore Trump outright falling asleep.

They put "I Did That" Biden stickers on high gas prices, now they ignore gas prices being even higher.

They bragged about Trump being the no wars President, now they support war.

They bashed Biden for sending money to Ukraine, now they ignore Trump sending money to both Ukraine and Israel.

They demanded the Epstein files, now they bash anyone asking for the Epstein files.

To be a MAGA is to be a slave.

Not physically, but mentally.

They stand for nothing.

We're up against people who stand for nothing.

And with the most misplaced confidence you've ever seen, they try to tell us whats-what.

We shouldn't even acknowledge these people.

The Trump supporters that remain are mentally too far gone.

I don't even want to argue with them anymore.

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

if she’s scared, you should be terrified

[Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 @FmrRepMTG]

25TH AMENDMENT!!!
Not a single bomb has dropped on America. We cannot kill an entire civilization.
This is evil and madness.

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

@sauceisnice disclaimer: deer paper was not part of this year’s theme

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

i’m so tired

[Jerri Green @Jerri_M_Green]

St. Jude reduced its budget by $150million because the White House blindly cut funding to children’s cancer research. #priorities

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

@sauceisnice hot

[a dog named Bocephus @sauceisnice]

Five years ago to the day I met a girl at the brewery for a beer. Today we are back at that brewery going over wedding plans. Life!

[a dog named Bocephus @sauceisnice]

MDW: outbound. Mrs Sauce: inbound

[Himmy Neutron @ATXHimmy]

Hold on y’all I gotta take this

[Payton Somerville @paytsomerville]

to clarify she wrote a op-ed calling for a boycott. the administration is telling us, free speech is a right unless you say something we don’t like.

[CSPAN @cspan]

.@SecRubio on detained Turkish student: "We revoked her visa...We gave you a visa to come and study and get a degree not to become a social activist that tears up our university campuses. If we've given you a visa and then you decide to do that we're going to take it away.

[Sophia Bush @SophiaBush]

This will kill children. Full stop. This is INSANITY.

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

do you know how awful you have to be for mitch mcconnell to vote against confirming you

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

BERNIE SANDERS: Vaccines do not cause autism. Do you agree?

RFK Jr: As I said, I'm not going into HHS with any preordained--

SANDERS: I asked you a simple question, Bobby

RFK Jr: If you show me those studies ...

SANDERS: That is a very troubling response