Helen Camp

Forgiving someone doesn't make you weak; it makes you strong enough because you understand that everyone makes mistakes

[Sheryl Pemberton @98Donara]

Katy Perry, blue hair. Nicki Minaj, pink hair. Rihanna, red hair. Lady Gaga, green hair Power Rangers just Reunited.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

Ignorance is bliss... unless you have a wife who keeps making you aware of it.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

If you fight like a married couple, talk like bestfriends, flirt like first loves, protect each other like bro and sis, its meant to be.

[Mary Taylor @TitDovzhenok]

Twitter makes you improve your writing, the 140 character limit forces you to master the art of getting to the point

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

8 year old kids today have Facebook, twitter, phones, iPod. When i was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.

[Tammy Smart @gkrakasevich]

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

[Sylvia Kearney @pasykin]

A computer science student cleaned his hands with a soap after removing a virus from his computer.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Winifred Sorensen @94Akhmadeev]

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

POLICE OFFICER: "How high are you?" ME: "No officer. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

A computer science student cleaned his hands with a soap after removing a virus from his computer.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

Of course there's no reason for it, it's just our policy.

[Jamie Knights @cherkas74]

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting.

[Kelly Roe @KhalimaBoss]

Our Sears closed. Our Kmart closed. Our JCPenney might close. I'm running out of places to shoplift.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

The weirder you sculpt your facial hair, the less likely I am to put you out if you're ever on fire.

[Lydia Abraham @ligiyafedorysh1]

Common sense is like deodorant... The people who need it most never use it.

[Helen Camp @pdobryashchev]

Geez, you dress up like the Grim Reaper ONE time and they never let you back into this nursing home.