crepitus

I'm actually a loser but don't let my tweets fool you.

[RiFF RAFF / DALE DAN TONY / JODY HiGHROLLER @JODYHiGHROLLER]

i CAN ONLY BE HOW i FEEL

[crepitus @peadr]

I'd be depressed if I was you.

[crepitus @peadr]

mood: dead

[crepitus @peadr]

I hate your birthday.

[crepitus @peadr]

My face and personality have proven to be the best contraception I could ever need.

[crepitus @peadr]

hello operator? yes, hi how do I cancel my subscription to life

[Rob Rickleberry @robrickle]

Tacos always fall apart when you eat 'em and it pains me to see it happen to children. I wish they would at least stay together for the kids

[crepitus @peadr]

concealer but for insecurities

[crepitus @peadr]

Vegetarianism is a disability in some cultures.

[crepitus @peadr]

If you want to get a celebrity to notice you, set fire to their car.

[Joses @JosesLovesYou]

It's too bad Doctors can never all agree on something.

[crepitus @peadr]

I am a heartless bastard because I never cried at the end of Titanic.

[crepitus @peadr]

When I'm not busy being amazing, I like to be dead.

[crepitus @peadr]

I live vicariously through my tv.

[crepitus @peadr]

The social experiment that is my life is a failure.

[crepitus @peadr]

"Your flight has been delayed indefinitely, thank you for your patience."

[crepitus @peadr]

Mud masks for your inner pig.

[crepitus @peadr]

My power pose is the foetal position.

[crepitus @peadr]

*takes a chill pill* *takes some more* *becomes a fridge* aww yeah