RH

[Vidio Sports @VidioSports]

PSIM berpesta di kandang Madura United 💙

[RH @peetruuk]

@MafiaWasit Penting menang ⚔️💙

[RH @peetruuk]

@MafiaWasit Pengen ngakak tp kok ra penak 🤭

[RH @peetruuk]

@AzatAlsalim This is in Jogjakarta btw

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Gak bisa dioper ke kereta lain kyk bus gt ya 😂

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Ternyata belum kelar jg ganti lokonya 😩

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Alhamdulillah udah jalann

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Belumm.. 2,5 jam sudah 🥱

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Barusan di kereta makan ada yg ngobrol katanya korban 2 orang, ntah betul apa gak ya.

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Yups. Ada korban ga sih?

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Iya yak barusan ada kereta lewat. Oh msh nunggu loko pengganti dr solo kak. Barusan diinfo

[RH @peetruuk]

@apojimalgooo @bryanarsaha @KAI121 Udah hampir 2 jam malah. Mestinya udh sampe jogja 😩

[Paman Teguh 🐐 @investorgabut]

Gw bantu jelasin ttg trend 'Peringatan Darurat' dgn bahasa sederhana yg bs dimengerti anak SD sekalipun. Buat yg bs bantu bikin ilustrasi gambar/videonya, waktu dan tempat dipersilahkan.

A thread.

[RH @peetruuk]

@RCTISports_ Feel bad for donnarumma.

[Komisi Wasit @MafiaWasit]

Beliau rela ga MUdik ke negaranya meski ada orang terdekat meninggal di Uruguay demi memenuhi syarat tinggal di NKRI paling singkat 5 tahun berturut-turut atau paling singkat 10 tahun tidak berturut-turut demi membela Timnas Indonesia.

🫡Hormat El Loco🫡

[RH @peetruuk]

#TimnasDay satu kata Menang!

[Ardianto Satriawan @ardisatriawan]

ORANG LUAR NEGERI KE INDONESIA

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Holiday."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice holiday."

***

"Hi, you're late to the online meeting."
"Sorry, it's 2 AM here, I have to adjust my schedule."
"Where are you now?"
"I stay in Bali now. It's cheap, the living cost is only a tiny fraction of my salary. I can save A LOT, and I mean A LOOOOT."
"Wow, you don't need work visa for that?"
"I just stay in my room, no one knows that I am working."
"Local tax?"
"No, I am on tourist visa."

***

"Having a nice holiday? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Kuala Lumpur? Must be another holiday."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Holiday."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice holiday."

***

"Having a nice holiday? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Kuala Lumpur? Must be another holiday."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Holiday."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice holiday."

***

"It's been almost two years since you stay in Bali, how is it?"
"Amazing, cheap and tax free!"

ORANG INDONESIA KE LUAR NEGERI

"Halo mbak, saya perlu urus visa buat ke US."
"Untuk keperluan apa?"
"Saya ada konferensi ilmiah di Boston. Buat S3 saya, wajib hadir presentasi biar papernya bisa terbit."
"Oke ini jadwal yang tersedia."
"Mesti nunggu 2 bulan?"
"Iya mas, penuh soalnya."
"Aduh, mepet ya."
"Coba dulu aja mas. Ini syarat dokumennya."

***

"Kenapa uang tabungannya cuma segini? Mas perlu sekian ratus juta mengendap."
"Saya adanya cuma segini."
"Mas perlu surat pernyataan gak akan kerja di sana."
"Lah, itu surat undangan dari konferensi gak cukup?"
"Gak cukup, harus ada tabungan sama pernyataan. Tiket pulang pergi juga udah harus ada."
"Kalau gak ada gimana?"
"Visanya bisa gak keluar."

***

"Halo, visa Anda ditolak."
"Hah kenapa?"
"Kami gak bisa kasih tahu alasannya."
"Haduh, terus paper konferensi saya gimana?"
"Maaf."

[Ardianto Satriawan @ardisatriawan]

Asian values
"Korupsi" = asal semua happy,
"Dinasti politik" = human rights,
"Gaji dirapel" = tidak menghilangkan hak,
"Pengabdian" = rela dibayar murah,
"Kritik" = mesti mikir solusi,
"Nabung rumah" = dipaksa pemerintah,
"Pajak" = ikut negara nordik.

[Ardianto Satriawan @ardisatriawan]

"Uang tidak penting." kata orang yang punya tanah, rumah, dan investasi di mana-mana.

"Penampilan tidak penting." kata orang yang jadi model sampul di berbagai majalah.

"Kuliah tidak penting." kata orang yang lulus sarjana dari Oxford dan MBA dari Stanford.