peppa pissed

deeply unserious

[trash jones @jzux]

i eat popcorn like someone is going to take it away from me and then kill me

[wuincent @1wuincy]

You lowkey gotta larp the lifestyle at first to make it real

[Nick Allmaier @NickAllmaier]

Just heard a white woman tell her dog “breathe through it” as the dog eyed a squirrel

[hunter @3gpmh]

i highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily

[☄️ @Aatishfishann]

to be loved is to be seen

[Johnny LaZebnik @jlazebnik]

new list of first date questions up and you already know where to find it 😎

[Cuck Liddell @c0ck_l3snar]

Vietnamese people and Mexican people share a very strong spiritual bond with one another

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

There are lovers you forget and sandwiches that haunt you for the rest of your life.

[evan.. @dogparkranger]

i think she's using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money

[S @henstepping]

Coworkers use AI for the dumbest shit why did someone make a custom logo for a one off meeting

[mie @girlpov]

when someone asks me to go out and i say yes without thinking about my crippling savings account because time is meant to be wasted with friends and money is meant to be spent and the world is meant to be experienced and life is meant to be lived

[Jay Jurden @JayJurden]

Nobody in NYC getting head tonight

[Corey Jacob @coreytimes]

gay universal experience of spending the best week with a man who lives halfway across the country that you potentially may never see again. I’m devastated

[casey at the bat🏀🏆 CHAMPS @thebenchesclear]

from the Village Voice, 1996

[TransgenDeer⚢🇵🇸 @Transgen_Deer]

Was cleaning off a knife but accidentally gave my Scrub Daddy an eyebrow slit now they’re nonbinary and wont do my dishes anymore

[The Lesbian Pervert @babyknifespice]

the average conversation on love island:

[de la luna @vy1in]

going through things only future and lana del rey would understand

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

(on a first date) Can we please just try to have a good night

[⟲ @unotfbg]

u can tell when a coworker got nothin going on outside of work