Peter

Print industry and lymphoma survivor. Ex-Minneapolitan now in the Chicago burbs.

[Peter @peterpretzer]

@nickmmark Those are library books!

[Peter @peterpretzer]

@atrupar I give you my hairpiece

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

I am officially nominating Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) for the Nobel Peace Prize.

No President in History has ended the same war so many times.

Our Dear Leader has ended the war with Iran at least 38 times by CNN’s count.

No President has ever done this before.

And he is nowhere near finished ending it.

It’s a record worthy of the Nobel committee’s recognition. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

The Constitution says that children born in the United States are citizens of the United States. A guy who jokes about pubic hairs on Coke cans says that they are not. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

They should all be forced to pay America for OUR humiliation, anxiety, and depression.

And they should suffer until the last breath they take.

[Evan @daviddunn177]

And just like that, the Internet had a new meme.

[Headquarters @HQNewsNow]

>Give $14M no-bid contract to your friend to paint the pool blue
>Pool turns green anyway because algae grows in warm stagnant water
>Pour hydrogen peroxide into the pool to kill the algae
>The hydrogen peroxide peels off the blue paint

[Mark Hammond @MarkHam80780803]

“I have totally defeated you and also transferred $300 billion dollars into your bank account”

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

Greenland is now asking Trump to invade, hoping to secure a deal similar to the one Iran got.

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

JD Vance promoting his book about finding his way back to faith while helping manage Situation Room meetings on how to cover up for pedophiles is about as Republican as it gets.

[Peter @peterpretzer]

Always knew he was House Slytherin

[Jon Stewart @JonStewartIL]

Posted than immediately removed. 🧐

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Oh boy the Epstein guy is sitting courtside

[WordleBacon @WordleBaconNYC]

@MysterySolvents Trump taking a break from sleeping in the Oval Office to sleep at the Garden

[Peter @peterpretzer]

@GaryPetersonUSA @NotHoodlum JEFFrey EPstein Clap! Clap! Clapclapclap! JEFFrey EPstein Clap! Clap! Clapclapclap!

[Murray Rothbard @MurraySuggests]

The Iranian navy, which has been destroyed eight times, has apparently closed the Strait of Hormuz again, because the United States, for the seventh time, won the war that wasn’t a war, so now the United States has to open the Strait of Hormuz that was already open before the not-war began.

The not-war began because Iran had uranium that was totally, completely, beautifully obliterated, so they can’t build the nuclear bomb they weren’t building, which is why the United States had to start the not-war it definitely didn’t start.

Now the United States, which has nuclear weapons, is threatening to use nuclear weapons to stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons, because nuclear weapons are far too dangerous for countries with nuclear weapons to allow other countries to have.

If the United States saw the United States doing what the United States does in other countries, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump is now sitting back in his chair and dozing off

[Peter @peterpretzer]

@atrupar I’ll bet his breath is great

[Mindful Primate @MichellesDude]

History’s Most Infamous Female Fascist-Fluffers:

1. Leni Riefenstahl

2. @KellyannePolls @GOP

3. Maria Butina @GOP

4. @bariweiss @CBSNews @GOP