fake snail

a snail walks into a bar and asks for a margarita.
the bartender asks: "No salt?"

[fake snail @petscop]

are you a 6 months early or a 6 months late kinda guy

[fake snail @petscop]

@MarisaB1CC @WheatAGR ty for hosting the tourney!
getting double donked by slayer is my punishment for playing may

[fake snail @petscop]

i do not wish to learn matchups
please dont make me learn OS's

[fake snail @petscop]

i wonder if the butter dog (the dog with the butter on it) is still alive

[fake snail @petscop]

does my dog know about the concept of light switches
or does he think i can turn on or off light whenever i walk into a room

[fake snail @petscop]

How do i tell my sister that her outfit sucks?

[fake snail @petscop]

How do i tell my brother, that his outfit sucks?

[fake snail @petscop]

these people want to waste your time

[fake snail @petscop]

who is petscop41816870

[fake snail @petscop]

lottery numbers were invented to catch time travelers and psychics

[fake snail @petscop]

@thatenbypan hi user thatenbypan

[fake snail @petscop]

it's raining

[fake snail @petscop]

oh cool, this decision sucks ass

[fake snail @petscop]

ah sorry mate i dont have time to play games today
im busy staring at a wall for the next 4 hours

[fake snail @petscop]

@samreich isnt 18% of nothing still nothing

[fake snail @petscop]

@hotashis It looks like a red one im pretty sure

[fake snail @petscop]

i miss when twitter had the device under the tweet

i miss "twitter for android"

[fake snail @petscop]

@PyroJoe backburnber

[fake snail @petscop]

im reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal

[fake snail @petscop]

@ProZD Burger

[fake snail @petscop]

@jpVari_ @mazen__tk ok