I am pushing myself to grow and be in more uncomfortable situations for my professional career and misunderstandings lead to people just giving up on me when I did way dumber shit.
That’s why I been single and celibate so long. Nobody worth the energy to me anymore. It’s always something. The image of me being old and alone with a couple of adopted kids looking realer and realer.
That’s what fucks me up. Woman have this image of who I am and instead of actually getting to know me, so as I duck up that image or can’t live up to that dream. I am ripped to pieces.
Shout out to my boss and Katie though. I appreciate them taking the time to make a moment today they know how I am and can get sometimes. Especially when I’m reminded how ima end up old and alone.
To want to be full of love. Planning lives out. Taking care of my lady. Planning kids. Getting a crib. Planning a crazy engagement and marriage just won’t happen.