JP Brocket

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@HRBlock 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[Just Jack @7Veritas4]

Interviewer: Are you in good financial standing?

Him: I owe a few hundred million to Mr. Hankey. The Saudis and Russians have also propped me up on several occasions. Needless to say, I’m obligated to do their bidding.

Interviewer: Oh. Any other “obligations” we should be aware of?

Him: Nothing major. I’m appealing civil judgments against me for over half a billion dollars. I also have criminal trials in four different jurisdictions. Stuff ranging from election interference, violations of the Espionage Act, obstruction of justice etc. I’ll need time off for days in court, maybe jail time if I’m held in contempt, prison if things don’t go my way…my PTO days should cover it.

Interviewer: What?

Him: Don’t worry. I’ve been criming for decades. I usually get away with it.

Interviewer: We cannot possibly offer you a job. Your history makes you unemployable.

Him: Are you saying I can run for President of the United States but you don’t trust me to flip cheeseburgers at your McDonald’s?

Interviewer: Yes, we have standards.

[Coco Gauff @CocoGauff]

no wonder my brother didn’t answer the phone. legend says he’s still screaming to this day😂

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@RonDeSantis Hell no.

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@nealrogers https://t.co/oxxU7mugTO

Can't get to the top in 60 minutes but this is one of many climbs out the back door in Taiwan.

[Mobolize @mobolize]

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[Glenn F. Henriksen @henriksen]

When men refer to themselves as "alpha males", I hear that in the context of software, where alpha versions are unstable, missing important features, filled with flaws, and not fit for the public.

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@mnolangray Currently living in one, built in 1967, in Taiwan, they are all over, very common here.

[Mobolize @mobolize]

A Day in the Life of a Data Management Engine. A busy day🤓with 2.7k DNS scans, encrypting 752mb Wi-Fi traffic & 1.3gb of data plus blocking phishing attacks. Read JP's @phayde blog 👉https://t.co/2UEaaXgKWY #security #mobilesecurity #mobile #ZeroTrust #DNS #WiFi #cloudsecurity

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@trickytaipei There is a third segment here and it is 100% owned by Starbucks... Low Quality and Premium Price...

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@Diplateevo Terribly bad, tried it once, it hit back

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@worldofmills @Google @googlepixeI They have an app too

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@Noah_Deuce @run4funner @SouthwestAir Add @EVAAirUS and @AlaskaAir to those that also figured out how NOT to charge fees for bikes. It's simply fees for profits and nothing more than that @SouthwestAir

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@foreignersinTW The clear air made for some great views at the same time reduced the refraction of the sunlight which made being out in the direct sunlight for several hours on Sunday really really hot.

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@KarlSmith202 I have Vasovagal syncope. It's a hassle for sure at certain times.

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@jverheul @ride_SA Bikase longjohn

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@chasewnelson How does this compare to general age distribution of Taiwan? It would be helpful to see that to understand if there is any variance between the two.

[JP Brocket @phayde]

@WilliamYang120 Citizens should not be using shopping time as family outing trips. I am seeing many families all out shopping and wandering through stores, should be 1 shopper...